Your light was just too bright for this earth

I'm not sure if many of you know who Gregory Conklin is but he was the sunshine in my days. It seems when I think back to Sept 2001-February 2006 so much of my memories and days revolved around Gregory. Moving across the street from him made it so much easier to be with him and to see him. I was able to come over and play and I was able to be there to watch Brooklynne if there was a doctors appointment or work for Abra to do.

At the same time, I wish I could have seen him more. I only visited him in the hospital twice. It wasn't because I didn't want to see him there, but I was afraid that I would get him sick. I always have a stuffy nose and often have a sore throat and rather than say it's allergies and risk it, I always opted to stay home. I know he knew that was the reason.

But I remember whenever he would come home, I'd be there standing outside of the van waiting to get the first photograph of his smile and to feel his sunlight again. Gregory fought the tough battles and won more than we ever thought possible. I remember one day he was on his way home from the hospital and I was still at school. I was probably going to miss his arrival by 5 or 10 minutes. I rushed my mom home, and when we got to the neighborhood, I jumped out of the car and ran the rest of the way to make sure I saw him.

Because Gregory's smile could win wars in my eyes. He keeps me fighting day after day, never giving into the problems that plague me and the ones I love. My sunshine is what made me realize I need to chase after my dreams because you never know what could happen tomorrow.

I don't exactly get sad when I think of Gregory. I cry, but they're happy tears - he lived such a strong life and he has been my inspiration for so much, he's no longer in pain - and for that I am happy. We had a celebration the day of his funeral - we celebrated his life - because he truly was one amazing little man.

Abra posted on Gregory's fan page on FB a tribute video that her brother and sister-in-law wrote for him and it is absolutely beautiful. I wanted to share it. Gregory's Song

So much of being a warrior queen is about being strong, living for today, and following your dreams. That's why I wanted to share my sunshine with you. If you want to learn more about Gregory's story and fight, follow this link.

Oh how I love tickets

Before I start on my rant, if you feel like commenting with some variation of "you need to be a better driver to not get tickets" i will punch you the next time i see you. Mostly because it's annoying but partly because i put my car on cruise control the speed limit to ensure no speeding (on the freeways).

Honestly though, I really think I have a big fat TICKET ME sign flashing over my head // my car. Let me just list it out for ya really fast...and keep in mind...this is since my 20th birthday in June...

1. Speeding ticket -- 85 in a 65 ~ $460 to do traffic school
2. Texting ticket ~ $180
3. License Plate ticket -- apparently, i had the wrong plates on my car!? ~ $50
4. Speeding ticket -- 55 in a 40 ~ ?? idk i got it yesterday
5. Parking ticket -- only, it was legal to park there so i'm fighting it ~ $30

REALLY? did this REALLY all happen in the past 4 months?

Whyy yes, yes it did. And I'm really not sure how other than the fact that obviously I was speeding. I thought the speed limit was 45...I thought i was going 45 but it was downhill so maybe my car was accelerating...I was jamming to my music, not watching the spedometer.

It really just gets my panties in a bunch though that I'm just an average person getting all of these tickets. I think it'd be more beneficial to Orange County if I just went and robbed the B of A on Ridge Route and gave them that money! It'd be a hell of a lot more than the 600 - 1,000 it's wrangled out of me this year!!

Honestly though, shouldn't our cops be focusing on other things that are maybe a little more MAJOR than someone going over the speed limit but under reckless endangerment?! Such as, you know, catching the guys who robbed the Ridge Route B of A!! OR maybe catching the cars that go speed racing AROUND me as I'm cruising at 75 on the freeway...

I know that they're only out there catching the mid-level speeders because it's less of a chase and generates more revenue. All I'm saying is, shouldn't they be more worried about the bettermant of society instead of money...isn't that what the police force is for...ughh. fuck beauracracy.

Okay, I'm done. My head might explode.

WQ of the Month

Today i want to identify one of my favorite warrior queens. She is seriously one of the strongest people I know. Life has thrown so much at her but she refuses to let it hold her back. She's grown a lot stronger in the past 18 months. I love my mom.

As a child, and up untila few years ago, i never realized her strength. Everyday she refuses to give up, always doing all she can for my brother and I. Especially when we have the opportunity and drive to do something. She has always supported us, even if / when we tried to walk all over her.

Mostly, she has a strong heart. She gets out of bed everyday in spite of the chaos life throws her way. It's so inspirational. She loves with more than I've ever seen. I get this trait from her.

She says I taught her to be a WQ, but without knowing it, she's been teaching me since day one. And now, we are each others' strength. Without her love and support I would be NOWHERE near the person I am today.

I love you mommy. =]

Listening

My friends are my life. I know that sounds cliche and/or like I'm channeling the narrator of "The Perks of Being a Wallflower;" however it's the truth.

I hate hate hate hate hate seeing my friends upset. Even if I barely know them. It's the reason I want to start my magazine and have this blog - to help others. I hate seeing people upset and I become a close friend to many strangers quickly because I take the time to listen. I know I'm always running my mouth but I love to listen. I really feel hardly anyone listens anymore. By this I don't mean people don't hear the words that are being said. I mean that they don't LISTEN to the the emotion; the body language; the past, present, future; the words that are not being spoken.

It's easy to make someone's day. All it takes is a little effort. Honestly. One text. One how are you? 2, maybe 10 minutes out of your day.

But, really, everyone is just too busy for that. But it's not real busyness - it's all busy work. Believe me, I'm the queen of busy work. I'm always doing something - I HATE being idle. But, I like to check up on my friends.

I mean, how hard is it to think of someone else for 30 seconds and let them know you're thinking of them? I like to text my friends on Mondays. (because I have a belief that Mondays are the worst days of the week) I'll text them something simple, an "i love you" "i'm thinking of you" or "i hope you have a fabulous day!" 9 of the 10 people reply with "thank you, that just made my day."

See how simple it is?