In high school, it was this one girl who I both adored and hated. She did sports, honors, ASB, MUN, Fellowship Christian Athletes, National Honors Society, California Scholars Federation, Yearbook, volunteer work, etc. You name it and she probably did it. She even found time to hang out with her family almost everyday. And she was SO cheerful about everything. I envied her for that and for her ability to dedicate to each of the things in her life.
In my life, I've tried almost everything in school - sports, art, student council, clubs, yearbook, journalism, etc. But journalism is the only thing that I've ever stuck with. It shows my commitment to it. But even now, I question if I really am passionate about it or if I just do it because I'm good at it. At one point, I basically lived and breathed journalism. But I haven't had an article published in years. That's right...YEARS! Not one, but two years and several months. And now I'm afraid that I will be horrible at it OR it's not right. I know (because everyone tells me) that I haven't lost it, especially because my editing professor at OSU loved my articles. It appears to be in my blood. But I just feel that I'm pushing it all back one more year since I have to go to a community. I'm sure I'll find some way to stay focused.
The other night I was hanging out with a couple of the girls who were in journalism with me but graduated a year ahead of me. Both have been editor in chief of their college newspaper. One of them is interning for the LA Times. A few summers ago another friend (who is a year younger than I) interned and free-lanced for the OC Register. So you can see my dilemma.
I love hanging out with these girls. I admire their ambition and I love taht we have this in common but sometimes it drives me crazy. I feel so inadequate! Don't get me wrong, I have my fair share of ambition and dreams. I've taken "dream big" literally since I want to start a magazine and the industry has a 90% fail rate. EEK!
But I can do it. Really, all of us can. Dream big and accept the failures because it will teach you a lesson, and you'll rise again!!
You can do it Rae, as long as you stay focused and have your mind set on it, go for it! Do not compare yourself to others, that can destroy you. Think of what you have accomplished and focus on your future accomplishments. Do not talk about what you want to do, make a plan of action and DO IT! We all know you can!
ReplyDeleteThank you Nina Michelle!!
ReplyDeleteI have a plan of action, it's just slow moving =/