Old Friends <3

Oooh how I love old friends. And the way they can randomly spring up into your life when you least expect it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ragging on new friends. I love making new friends and some of my newest friends are the people I talk to the most and hang out with the most and are absofuckinglutely amazing!!

But old friends, just stir up something inside of me. Especially if it's been forever since I've seen them and for some reason we both need each other at this particular moment in time. For example my friend Cameron, whom I'm pretty sure will read this, is going on an adventure with me on Friday. We haven't hung out in about 2.5 years. We haven't seriously hung out on a regular basis in 4. But we've known each other for 8. So weird. So WEIRD.

This week though, we need each other. Because we each have something the other needs to cheer up -- the ability to make the other person happy and the ability to empathize for current situations.

That's the most amazing thing about friends - that we can make each other happy. It boggles my mind why people choose to hate each other in place of being friends. There's this girl that, I'm not going to lie, I really can't stand. But, I am completely open to being friends with her because I've never met her - maybe she's really awesome? Anyway, I keep having dreams that she and I are friends (though she'll never want to be my friend). But anyway, I guess I'm just of a different nature - I want to be friends with everyone.

In the meantime, though, I am WAY excited with my trifecta of old friends that are hitting me this week -- my best friend from 1st grade, Cameron, and my best friend is coming to visit! YAY

Optimistically What is Meant to Be Will Be

There's no denying it...I'm ever the optimist. I always freak out or worry about things going horribly wrong, but truth is...I know things are going to work out so that I'm happy. I know that things between two people will work out, in some way.

I don't believe in destiny, but I do believe that two people can be meant for each other and what is meant to be will be. I fight with people over how it's not destiny, but to me destiny feels like it's pre-ordained and already worked out and there is NOTHING I can do to change the outcome.

But I do believe that I can change the outcome of my life. I believe that the way I act and react and the choices I make are just that CHOICES. But I also believe that when I choose something the story changes ahead of me so that my path will still lead toward what is meant to be, but that it changes. Kind of like in the CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE! books.

Thus, I am optimistic about what will happen. I believe if you follow your heart, you will get what is right for you, what is best, what makes you happiest.

I'm team follow your heart.

My heart will always lead me back to its home. We know where that is. =]

The Male Species?

Oh, boys.

--This could be the end of my post and every single person interested in boys will know exactly what I'm talking about. But I'll clarify because I like to read the things that I write and I think my (nonexistant aside from the best friends and family) readers of my blog appreciate my insight (although slightly skewed possibly. Also, I like parenthesis today.)--

I believe I mentioned in my last post that this Asian boy came and asked me for relationship advice and basically I'm a love guru or something? Well, all of my girl friends come to me with their boy problems and in general they all revolve around the same thing...that things will work out IF BOYS ONLY GREW UP!

Alright, I hate to say it ladies, but we're 20. (well, I'm 20. you might not be. but...I don't know who "you" are). And based off of the way we were raised // society...it says that it's ok for us to want to be married at 20. Girls used to get married at 12. That age is steadily going up (I know I don't want to be married at 20).

Boys however...are still just that at our age. -- I did post an article about this a few months back -- When the girls were marrying at 12...they weren't marrying 12 year old boys...they were marrying MEN. lol. AKA 30 year olds.

But society today is telling them it's okay to take longer to grow up. Which just drives us girls crazy. I mean, at one point we ARE going to have a ticking biological clock? - not for several years but still!!

What I'm trying to say is...when that boy is freaking out about the long-term relationship or the fact that they just told you they like you a WHOLE lot and maybe even love you and might want to marry you and then they run away from you for several days or weeks...don't take it personally.

I know it's hard not to, my last post is basically case and point me trying to say that being in love is very difficult because of just this...but I'm trying to believe myself when I know it's not something I should take personally.

Tonight, I got the dirt from some men. Aka my uncles / my aunt's boyfriend...and basically, freak outs like this are normal. So. Don't fret. Just go pamper yourself till they decide to realize they're crazy about you again.

I know, I know

I knoow I've been MIA for a week. It was not intentional at all. I kept trying to write but I kept getting distracted. On Monday, I had surgery on my foot ((nothing major)) and I started to write a post about Halloween and skanky girls...but then the vicodin kicked in and I passed out. I was down for the count all day Tuesday and stuck in bed with plenty of free time...and no motivation since then! But here it goes! -- although I'll finish my halloween one up later...

I am convinced LOVE is the biggest challenge I'm ever going to encounter...getting a 4.0 GPA in honors classes is wayyy easier than trying to figure out the heart.

Mostly, this is because every person, every situation, and every relationship is going to vary so drastically. There is no little formula you can plug in. No boy + girl = happiness. It's much more complicated than this. There isn't even a "if you structure your essay in this manner you'll get at least a C" formula. No. It's all hit or miss, timing, personality, situation.

People always ask me for relationship advice. I try my best to understand the situation. I tell them what I would do in the situation. But to follow their heart. Following your heart is usually the best solution. But what do you do when you're heart is going in 20 directions at once?

To be honest, I usually break down and cry at this point. And then I ask everyone I talk to for advice, although they're probably fucking tired of hearing about my problems at this point. But they're kind, they listen. And if that's not enough...it's time for a field trip to Barnes and Nobles' Self-Help section. [[this section can instantly make me calm]].

Sometimes, even that is not enough. Mostly because I'm a victim of doing things over the natural limit. You know, overanalyzing, overthinking, overexciting, over everything. I generally like that about myself. Except when I'm laying in bed all by myself crying because I feel so lost...

Music usually saves my soul. I also know this post is very scattered like my brain and my emotions right now, we can't blame it on the vicodin...i stopped taking that on Tuesday when it made me go all crazy. Also, I know this post isn't going to solve my problems. Nothing is. Because as soon as you solve one problem another one's going to pop up.

I'm okay with that, usually. I like solving problems. But I hate being in limbo. I like to know what's going on and especially hate it when people push me away or block me out...

I think this is all I'm going to write because if I keep going I'm going to sound even more crazy than I did last night when I met the Asian kid who asked me for love advice. I forgot he doesn't know me, or the way I talk so I sounded like a complete crazy. Which I am. But good crazy.

Always try for good crazy...