Always Wear Your Invisible Crown

Saturday was International Women's Day. I wanted today's post to be inspired by that greatness.

I don't know what it was that made me such a strong-willed girl power enthusiast. It could have been my hours of watching Power Puff Girls and Johnny Quest; it could have been from hanging out with my cousins; or it could have been from growing up in the 90s "Girl Power" era.

Personally, I think I was born this way.

From a small age, I was concerned with inequality. Why does he get to do that and I can't?  I did not realize that it was gender inequality until I was much older. I just didn't like being told what to do. "You can't do that" motivated me to do just that, and then some more. I'm still like this...I don't like to be bossed around. [Side note, check out the Ban Bossy campaign! I'm in love!]

Anything you can do, I can do better. This was my mantra as a kid.

Girl Scout camp was my favorite as a kid (I'm the blondie) 

In 5th grade we played this game called "Peg Ball." Basically, it was like kickball, only you tried to hit the other team members. The boys liked to play boys against girls. One day, the ball flew at me and hit me in the face, knocking off my glasses. I was livid.  

I picked up my glasses, put them on and marched over to Justin Whatshisface and said "Apologize. You're not supposed to aim for our heads." He wouldn't. Instead he decided to attempt to threaten me with his fist? He was waving it around like he'd never hit anyone before. I was a purple belt in karate.  

He was too scared of me to say anything, so his friend spoke up with the words "He'll hit you, he's hit his girlfriend." I glared at him and shot back "Do I look like his girlfriend? He should respect girls and women and apologize to me for hitting me in the face."  

Finally he did and rumors swirled around school that I was a bad ass. I was just standing up for myself...

Throughout my life, from whenever I first heard the word "feminist," I knew I was one.

Girls and women tend to shy away from the term - believing that it is synonymous to "feminazi," a term created by patriarchy because they're terrified of what us girls can do when we get together. Heaven forbid marriages are partnerships and tasks in life are split 50/50 or by who has a less strenuous work schedule, rather than be dependent on gender.

My favorite words to hear out of a man's mouth are "I'm a feminist." 

If you want a true definition of the word, check out this post. In short, "feminist" means you believe women should have rights. All of the other stuff, is what's tacked onto it by others and society.

Yes, I think that the glass ceiling is bullshit and believe that women should be offered the same rate of pay as a man based on skill not gender. 

When Iman and I first became serious and moved in with each other, I felt like a fraud as a feminist because I wanted to cook him dinner and I didn't mind cleaning up after him. I battled with my feelings of women's rights and that guilt led to quite a few fights that he probably isn't aware of.

This man doesn't take away my feminism. 

Because I am a feminist and I did these things for him out of love, I felt that I deserved to have things done for me out of love. That isn't true though. I deserve to be loved but I can take care of myself - as can any woman out there. I don't need Iman to clean up my mess or cook for me.

Girls, we don't need a man, even though it is the most wonderful thing to fall asleep next to the person that I love.

I know this post probably jumped all over about women's rights and feminism, but I hope it at least made some sense to you. I hope you realize how much self-worth you have without any other human being taking any of it.

Also, I've been on the hunt for a girl's group to work with or be a part of and would love any recommendations. I have been dreaming of being a Girl Scout leader for awhile, but I'm not sure if I have enough time. I'm in the LA/OC area, so if you know of any wonderful organizations looking for something more than monetary support, please comment below!



Check out one of our featured Warrior Queens:

Feminism

Okay, to start off. I apologize for the unintenional hiatus. School started and I temporarily lost my mind on top of it. I've been meaning to write this blog since last Tuesday after the class I had sparked this idea. But, such is life. Craziness!

Laate last Tuesday night I posted asking for opinions on Feminism. [[I'm pretty sure only Courtney reads my blog because only she responded but that's okay. haha.]] What she said is exactly what I wanted to talk about!!

Feminism. Most people view it as this ugly thing. I'm a feminist. You probably could tell that I'm all about girls all the time, but I bet no one really thought I described myself as a feminist. But I am.

I asked my mom this question the other day and she said she's not a feminist, she just believes that women should support and love each other and have rights. Hmmm...if that's not feminism, then what is?

Let's break it down with an actual definition, courtesy of Merriam Webster:

Main Entry: fem·i·nism

Pronunciation: \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\

Function: noun

Date: 1895

1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests

Now, let's pull the definition from my textbook (Btw I'm taking Psychology of Women. It's going to be so good!)

Feminism: The idea that women's experiences and ideas are valued.

NOW. Save for what I'm pretty sure is just a very LOUD minority, most people believe that women's experiences and ideas are valued. The idea of feminism is not antagonistic toward men. I mean, I love men! Not just romantically, either. There are some very very amazing guy friends out there.

I suppose I fall under the category that every person should be valued. So yes, I'm all about girls making a name for themselves and being whoever they want to be. I want to be a mom, more than probably having my magazine. I want to cook dinner for my future husband, I don't mind cleaning the house. OH MY GOD, how could I go against my feminist ideas?

But I'm not. I'm just expressing the different facets of things that I desire in life.

For the record...there are 3 different types of approaches to feminism (just to educate ya)

1. Liberal feminism (me): someone who wants to reduce gender roles by passing laws that guarantee equal rights for women and men. "Liberal feminists emphasize that gender differences are relatively small; these differences would be even smaller if women had the same opportunities as men"

2. Cultural feminism: there are a certain numbers of positive qualities that are stronger in women, such as nurturing. [[i really find this not true with some women]]. This focuses on gender differences that value women and they often argue that society should be restructured to emphasize cooperation rather than aggression.

3. Radical feminism: the basic cause of woemn's oppression lies deep in the entire sex and gender system rather than in superficial laws and policies. Sexism permeates our society and our society needs to drastically changed.

Out of these three, the "bra burners" are radicals. Clearly. Also though, the bra burnings never happened.

The media (you gotta love the media, even as I strive to work FOR it) has this awesome ability to construe everything that could be good, as bad. Therefore, feminism is bad! Don't like it! Don't be a feminist! We'll take over the world and kill all men and men are horrible horrible creatures.

NO! Enough.

Let's all just be people. Support each other. No more girl cruelty and mind games.

Be. Love.

p.s. book reference: The Psychology of Women by Margaret W. Matlin

p.p.s. check out this too!

Modern Feminism

Yesterday I was bored and reading MySpace bulletins and came across one that looked pretty promising. The subject was “HAHAHAHA thanks conservapedia.” Instantly, I knew I had to read it. This is what I found:

Specifically, a modern feminist tends to:

* believe that there are no meaningful differences between men and women - 1
* oppose chivalry and even feign insult at harmless displays of it - 2
* view traditional marriage as unacceptably patriarchal
* shirk traditional gender activities, like baking - 3
* support affirmative action for women
* detest women who are happy in traditional roles, such as housewives,and especially dislike those who defend such roles - 4
* prefer that women wear pants rather than dresses, presumably because men do
* seek women in combat in the military just like men, and coed submarines
* refuse to take her husband's last name when marrying
* distort historical focus onto female figures, often overshadowing important events (Eg: Henry VIII's wives take precedence in common knowledge to his actual reign.)
* object to being addressed as "ma'am"
wow, I definitely hate baking because its SOO stereotypically a woman's duty.

Of course my first reaction was WOW. I need to go to this website. Because, yes, I consider myself a feminist. Not a feminazi who hates all males in existence, but I am a very big advocate of women. You know the song “anything you can do I can do better”? That was my motto throughout my childhood. When boys tried to boss me around or called me mean things or hit me with a ball I would march over to them and give them an earful. Of course, if they called me four-eyes...well, let's just say I dealt with that in a much more “girly” fashion – tears and tattling. [[Hey, every girl has her vice!]]

So basically...I want to address the things that I think are a little ludicrous for people to believe...(numbered)

1. There is a distinct difference between men and women...physically alone. But as my anthropology teacher always says, women are VALUABLE because they can bear children. Men are dispensable and that's why they hunt [[haha, of course, that's not the reason men in America hunt]]

2. I like chivalry. It's cute.

3. I think it's a lot of fun to do “traditional gender activities” like baking...but I love to be pampered too =]

4. I think a woman should be whatever she wants to be. If that's a housewife who goes to college to find a husband I might think that's a definite waste of money but, it's your life...why should I care?!

5. I like to wear dresses. They make me feel prettyyyyy!! but I do wear shorts under them...because...I'm a klutz.

6. I think it's kinda cool that women get to choose their own last name at one point in their lives!!

SO I want to know thoughts on feminism. Is a warrior queen a feminist? Or is she just a strong, confident woman?

p.s. Www.conservapedia.com is the website that was found on...interesting to say the least.