Do you ever struggle with wanting to do it all? I honestly, struggle with this constantly. I have perfectionist tendencies, but I'm not a hardcore perfectionist. I can let things go and not be in control of everything. It is difficult because the main component of my OCD is that I need to feel in control, or more specifically, stable.
Things have been way more stable in past years, especially since Iman came back into my life. My biggest instability recently has just been finances. I can't seem to get a good plan in place. We make enough money to afford our bills, we just don't always have the spending we should have, I think. But what's most difficult for me is accepting that my money and Iman's money go together.
I want to pay my bills by myself and without Iman's help. But I had a feeling that when we were planning on moving out again, I wouldn't be able to afford my bills and rent. I do just fun paying my bills off of my paychecks without paying rent, but when we added that in, and my pay lowered things got more difficult for me.
Iman has no problems paying for part of our bills or my bills, but I struggle with it. I struggle with it because I'm used to being the independent girl who can hold her own.
On top of that, I struggle with getting everything done that is expected of me. We still haven't finished our thank you cards and that is due to a hard core struggle on my part. I don't want to write thank you cards, I want to blog!
My time management is lagging, too. It's hard for me to stay on task to work from home. Blogging and my blogging ideas are just so alluring. I wish that I could devote the time to my blog that I want to! Devoting that time and paying the bills seem to be impossible right now.
I would LOVE for my house to be clean, also. I always try to do it all at home. Iman and I split our chores, as well. But I have this notion in my head that I need to do all of the chores, and shouldn't ask him to take out the trash if it needs to be taken out. Call me paranoid of being called a nag?
Basically, all of my worries and tight-chest panic is created by my own head. Why do I struggle with it? I don't know. But ever since we've moved in together (so yes, that's over 2 years) I've struggled with these feelings.
It's as if when I commit myself to him, I got this fear that everything would change and I needed to do everything or it wouldn't be enough.
So these are the things I am working on. Hopefully, as I work on them my chest stops hurting. This year's been a stressful one but it has been so much easier to de-stress with Iman by my side. That's the part that matters, right?
Tomorrow I'm meeting with a friend to work out a new budget. She's really good at helping me get back on track, because my usual thought process is to just ignore it and take it as it comes. But planning ahead is a much better option, especially for anxious me.
What are your tried and trued ways of not feeling overwhelmed? Do you struggle with wanting to do it all? How do you combat that?
Happy Friday!
Check out one of our featured Warrior Queens:
