I'm almost twenty-five; and in June, i will have been out of high school for seven years. It doesn't seem to matter how long ago you graduated, though, high school-like drama always seems to find you. Sometimes friendships grow apart, as we grow up but we don't realize the friendship has come to an end until it is filled with toxic drama. Friendship drama is the worst. I am sure we all have it as we grow apart.
The worst part about growing up and growing apart is knowing when it's time to call it quits.
I've had a few friendships end too late, and others that I thought ended too soon. With another person involved in the friendship, it is easy to feel slighted.
After high school and college it is harder to keep in contact with friends. We spend 40+ hours a week working, hours in traffic (for commuters like me) and it's easy to come home and just be exhausted.
When we're in high school, our different interests make our friendships worthwhile. As we grow and get into different careers, we start to have less in common.
That is when friendships start to fade. It takes a lot more work to stay in contact with someone whose day to day life is different than yours. It doesn't mean that those friendships have to end, just that they take more work.
Both of you must work harder to keep your friendship strong. It is a careful balance.
I have had many friendships where I've felt like I've given more and ended up getting slighted; and I've had friendships where I've given my all and I realize now, that it was still not enough. Holding grudges only makes the drama worse.
As we grow apart, letting go earlier is easier.
Some times, a solution to growing apart is having a true heart-to-heart about your current lives. If you feel like your friend never texts you back, maybe it is because she actually doesn't like texting (or have time) and would prefer a phone call from now on.
The important part in growing apart and avoiding drama, is to always be graceful in your conversations. A friend may be lashing out at you and your friendship. Don't snap back or ignore his/her feelings. Try to be understanding.
At the same time, it is important to realize when it's over. Sometimes those words "I am sorry, I just don't think we are very good friends anymore."
Hopefully, your friend feels it, too, or can help you find a way to stop your friendship from growing apart.
Or there's the drama approach with the response being along the lines of "Fine then don't be my friend" or "You really seem to care so much about me to end the friendship."
Unfortunately, then you are left with a dilemma. Do you enter into the drama or do you just let it be?
My response? Let it be!
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