Friendships: Growing Up and Growing Apart

I'm almost twenty-five; and in June, i will have been out of high school for seven years. It doesn't seem to matter how long ago you graduated, though, high school-like drama always seems to find you. Sometimes friendships grow apart, as we grow up but we don't realize the friendship has come to an end until it is filled with toxic drama. Friendship drama is the worst. I am sure we all have it as we grow apart. 
The worst part about growing up and growing apart is knowing when it's time to call it quits.
I've had a few friendships end too late, and others that I thought ended too soon. With another person involved in the friendship, it is easy to feel slighted. 

After high school and college it is harder to keep in contact with friends. We spend 40+ hours a week working, hours in traffic (for commuters like me) and it's easy to come home and just be exhausted. 
When we're in high school, our different interests make our friendships worthwhile. As we grow and get into different careers, we start to have less in common. 
That is when friendships start to fade. It takes a lot more work to stay in contact with someone whose day to day life is different than yours. It doesn't mean that those friendships have to end, just that they take more work. 
Both of you must work harder to keep your friendship strong. It is a careful balance. 
I have had many friendships where I've felt like I've given more and ended up getting slighted; and I've had friendships where I've given my all and I realize now, that it was still not enough. Holding grudges only makes the drama worse.
As we grow apart, letting go earlier is easier. 
Some times, a solution to growing apart is having a true heart-to-heart about your current lives. If you feel like your friend never texts you back, maybe it is because she actually doesn't like texting (or have time) and would prefer a phone call from now on. 
The important part in growing apart and avoiding drama, is to always be graceful in your conversations. A friend may be lashing out at you and your friendship. Don't snap back or ignore his/her feelings. Try to be understanding.

At the same time, it is important to realize when it's over. Sometimes those words "I am sorry, I just don't think we are very good friends anymore." 
Hopefully, your friend feels it, too, or can help you find a way to stop your friendship from growing apart. 
Or there's the drama approach with the response being along the lines of "Fine then don't be my friend" or "You really seem to care so much about me to end the friendship."
Unfortunately, then you are left with a dilemma. Do you enter into the drama or do you just let it be? 
My response? Let it be! 

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Friendship in Times of Need

It's Tuesday and my weekend was far from relaxing. I've come to realize that this summer isn't necessarily carefree for those closest to me, or myself. The positive vastly outweighs the negative, but I think we all need a little extra love and positive energy right now.

Which has led me to this unstructured post that is an open letter to friends from friends everywhere.

via

Dear you,
Some days I need a little more love and support than others, but I'm too buried to reach for it. Some days I need you to send me that text message of support, that might not even get a reply. Some days I need you to understand that I'm not replying because I do not love and respect our friendship. I have yet to reply because I don't know what words to say, terrified that the one word "Hello" to someone I know cares deeply for me, will break the dam and all of the emotion and tears will come pouring out.

 Some days I need to hear "That blows" instead of a solution to my problems. Other days, I need those solutions and I appreciate every little bit that you do. When you bring food to my house for us to cook and leave the leftovers for later in the week, I appreciate it. When you sit by my side, silent, while I cry, I appreciate it. When you come over and ask for advice, worried to put more on my plate, I appreciate the distraction. 

 I need you to understand that some times I do not talk to you for weeks and weeks even though you might see on Facebook that everything is wonderful and I seem to be spending a lot of time with so-and-so. Please do not get jealous, as I can assure you, my love for you has not faltered. Sometimes I need the support of certain people, but many times, they need mine. I might not text you for a few days because, while I'm busy at work, I am spending every spare second supporting someone else who is going through something tough. I want to talk to you and I won't ignore you. But I can't spend my day worrying that you are upset because I haven't texted you when it goes both ways. 

 Please, do not be afraid to reach out to me any time of day or night that you could need me. I will do everything in my power to love and support you.

Forever your friend,
Me.

Do you have any friends going through a rough time?

Throwback Thursday: Cultivating Your Friendship Garden

Today, I thought I'd throw in a little #ThrowbackThursday action on my blog posts! [I got this idea from Miss Mama Me]

I was looking through my old posts to find one to share and, while this one has always been my favorite, the meaning behind it is definitely standing out at me today. Thanks, Tut for prompting me to post it!

Cultivating Your Friendship Garden

Friend-Making Monday...on Tuesday

Okay, okay. I know it's not Monday anymore. But I suuuuper love answering questions like this. So I'm doing it anyway! It's nice to do little posts in between the big ones. This week is full of LIFE trying to get in the way of blogging, so I'll catch ya when I catch ya ;)

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Ten Simple Questions

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?  My hair will pass for Day 3.

2. Do you prefer to pay for things with cash or plastic?  I prefer to use my credit card to build my credit and it’s easier for me to track than cash buuut I need to get better at paying them off. Mreh.

3. What is one word that you use too often? I mean. It came up one day in Ohio and it’s still there 5 years later…

4. Who is the last person outside of your family who said “I love you” to you?  Uhhh, maybe a best friend?

5. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone and mailed it? I actually wrote two last week and one today.

6. Have you ever been called upon for jury duty?  No L and I really want to be

7.  How many keys are on your key ring?  Hmmm…3? One is for the doorhandle I had on my room last year…I just haven’t taken it off

8.  List two characteristics that you want to change about yourself.  I wish I stuck to my organization aaaand I wish that I was better at sticking with my financial goals (I understand what needs to be done, I just don’t stick with it…)

9.  Do you bring your own shampoo and conditioner when you travel, or do you use what the hotel provides?  I bring my own!

10. What is your birthstone?  Do you like it?  Alexandrite. Or the Pearl.  I love pearls! Alexandrite is pretty light for my taste