Maintaining Long Distance Friendships

I don't talk about it often, but a lot of my best friends live far away. We may not see each other every day...or even every year, but we always know that we're there whenever we need each other.

My O-Bff Ari and I!

Long distance relationships are difficult - whether those are romantic relationships or friendships. I couldn't tell you how often I feel my creative juices flowing at a "normal" hour by Cali standards, and I have to wait until the next morning to tell my soul sisters!

@LiteraryOdyssey oh my gahhh I have something to tell you but it's late & i don't want to wake you with a text #longdistancesoulsisterprobs

— Rae [to the] Wyn (@raetothewyn) October 13, 2014

Case in point, Sunday night.

It's not only about the days where you are feeling completely inspired, some nights you just need to talk to that ONE PERSON and she's already in bed, fast asleep. There's also the days when you know your best friend is going through something, and all you want to do is be there for her. Phone calls and texts can only go so far, but sometimes that's all you've got!

My high school best friends, I made this in college when we were far apart.

Are you feeling the pain missing your long distance best friend? Today, (since I've been super missing my O-BFF) I decided to put together a list of ways to bridge the distance!

1.Send a Card! I absolutely suck at actually mailing cards and packages. Seriously, you can ask one of my best friends Erykka who was at camp all summer and literally did not receive one reply to her letters. Well, I replied by text? Luckily, I discovered Treat by Shutterfly. You may or may not know that I am obsessed with Shutterfly. Seriously, I love it so much. Treat is the newest greeting card website by Shutterfly. You can create a greeting card and they will actually send it for you! What's more, you can put pictures on the cards...aka my favorite part about Shutterfly.

Treat makes the cutest cards!

2. Skype Dates! Whenever my best friends and I have a spare moment (or I'm cleaning my room) we try to hop on Skype. It can be a little difficult for me to catch Ari - since she's in Grad School - but I can usually catch Paulina online!

3. Save your miles! I've always been pretty lucky with my dad traveling for his job and collecting miles to send me to visit my friends in Ohio after I moved back home. After he stopped traveling as much, I was inspired to get an Alaska Airlines credit card to build miles. My goal was to be able to fly to Ohio or North Carolina and visit my girls. Fast forward a couple of months after I got it and Iman proposed. That card became the perfect way for me to get my long distance best friend to fly to my wedding!!

A few of my Ohio best friends who were able to come to my wedding!

4. Packed Party has a package called Miss You Bitch, that I've been wanting to send. I haven't bought anything from them, but I follow their Instagram and love their images

5. Watch movies at the same time. This is a trick Ari taught me. If you plan on seeing the same movie at the same time, you can talk all about it after as if you had been there together!!

If you can't do any of these things, it's always great to just send a "Hope your day is great, I'm thinking of you" text. That's my go-to.

And on that note, I'm off to text my girls.

This was not a sponsored post. I received no compensation for this post.



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Friendships: Growing Up and Growing Apart

I'm almost twenty-five; and in June, i will have been out of high school for seven years. It doesn't seem to matter how long ago you graduated, though, high school-like drama always seems to find you. Sometimes friendships grow apart, as we grow up but we don't realize the friendship has come to an end until it is filled with toxic drama. Friendship drama is the worst. I am sure we all have it as we grow apart. 
The worst part about growing up and growing apart is knowing when it's time to call it quits.
I've had a few friendships end too late, and others that I thought ended too soon. With another person involved in the friendship, it is easy to feel slighted. 

After high school and college it is harder to keep in contact with friends. We spend 40+ hours a week working, hours in traffic (for commuters like me) and it's easy to come home and just be exhausted. 
When we're in high school, our different interests make our friendships worthwhile. As we grow and get into different careers, we start to have less in common. 
That is when friendships start to fade. It takes a lot more work to stay in contact with someone whose day to day life is different than yours. It doesn't mean that those friendships have to end, just that they take more work. 
Both of you must work harder to keep your friendship strong. It is a careful balance. 
I have had many friendships where I've felt like I've given more and ended up getting slighted; and I've had friendships where I've given my all and I realize now, that it was still not enough. Holding grudges only makes the drama worse.
As we grow apart, letting go earlier is easier. 
Some times, a solution to growing apart is having a true heart-to-heart about your current lives. If you feel like your friend never texts you back, maybe it is because she actually doesn't like texting (or have time) and would prefer a phone call from now on. 
The important part in growing apart and avoiding drama, is to always be graceful in your conversations. A friend may be lashing out at you and your friendship. Don't snap back or ignore his/her feelings. Try to be understanding.

At the same time, it is important to realize when it's over. Sometimes those words "I am sorry, I just don't think we are very good friends anymore." 
Hopefully, your friend feels it, too, or can help you find a way to stop your friendship from growing apart. 
Or there's the drama approach with the response being along the lines of "Fine then don't be my friend" or "You really seem to care so much about me to end the friendship."
Unfortunately, then you are left with a dilemma. Do you enter into the drama or do you just let it be? 
My response? Let it be! 

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TBT: Treasure Chest

This is one of my all time favorite blog posts. I originally wrote it in May 2011, when I was struggling with a lot of friendships and relationships. I'm happy to say that my friend who came up with this analogy is still a friend of mine today. She is the girl who promised she would never leave...which may not sound like much to some people, but to me, it means the world!

My friend's sister came up with this analogy when she was in high school and I think it's very warrior queen so I wanted to share it. It's my new philosophy that I've adopted. It encompasses all aspects of life in dealing with people and (sometimes) their toxicity.

Inside each and every one of us, there is a treasure chest of gems - rubies, diamonds, gold colins, emeralds, etc. And before we form a relationship with anybody, we must evaluate if their treasure will be as valuable as the treasure we are giving them. This is true in any relationship, whether it be friendship (what originally sparked this conversation), a relationship (which is what started the philosophy) or any sort of partnership.
Basically, is this person going to be as good to you and for you as you are to them? Too many times we form bonds and relationships with people who are just not a great match. We like to try to fix them, but no one can fix another person, they must fix themselves. You can offer ideas and advice and support them, but why support something that is toxic and will only drain you? This becomes a parasitic relationship and you will resent that person.
Now the part that I was struggling with is that I have been feeling deceived. When these relationships of mine began they were anything but toxic. Our treasure was of equal value. But as time wore on, my treasure held its value (as it always does because I'm more focused on relationships than anything else) but theirs did not.

People change, circumstances change, events transpire...but it does not mean that the treasure I was originally given is cubic zirconia compared to my diamonds. It just means that that relationship has expired. It can be renewed in the future, perhaps if the value hasn't deteriorated completely.


It's like this:

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own. For every e-book purchased I will receive commission. 

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