Well then I really did have a fantastic weekend. I let go and was carefree and it was exactly what I needed to remember. I've had some great weekends lately but I haven't had ones where I stopped stressing. Seriously, I'm like a stressed out hot mess 24/7 and I'm tired of it.
In part, it's because of my anxiety disorder and the extreme difficulty I have in letting go of control. I've mentioned it time and time again how I worry about money (for the wedding) and work constantly and feel stuck. Well I let that feeling rule everything, basically. I let it get in the way of hanging out with friends (because I will go out, but I won't be completely present because I'm worrying about the money I'm spending, or what else I could be spending my time doing). I let it get in the way with Iman. I let it get in the way with everything.
Luckily, unlike most of the time I realize this, I did not have a breakdown. Merely, having that fun was enough for me. Yes, it involved alcohol. I typically don't like to use alcohol to change my emotions (to "escape" when I'm upset or to have more fun when I'm stressed). I come from a family of alcoholics. I learned by watching that that is not the way to deal with things. But, this time I decided to have something to drink. Not to have fun, but as a byproduct of that fun.
Let's face it, sometimes I have more fun when I'm tipsy.
But really my weekend was filled with seeing some old friends and playing games. On Friday, we went to Dave and Busters and on Saturday we ended up playing darts at the bar we went to. Plus we had a fantastic hotel room at a really great rate and then yesterday was foooootballl.
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| Bonus: I got to have dinner with this girl and her fam, she's rocking her WQ bracelet. |
Has anyone else needed to just let go?
I'm going to try to pull this feeling into the whole month of September! I was going to do some yoga this morning (destresses most people...but has always made me uncomfortable. But maybe if I do it alone it will be better). I slept instead, so I'm planning on doing yoga while watching the Eagles kick ass tonight.
#FlyEaglesFly
