Be a Warrior Queen: June 2013

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Throwback Thursday: Cultivating Your Friendship Garden

Today, I thought I'd throw in a little #ThrowbackThursday action on my blog posts! [I got this idea from Miss Mama Me]

I was looking through my old posts to find one to share and, while this one has always been my favorite, the meaning behind it is definitely standing out at me today. Thanks, Tut for prompting me to post it!

Cultivating Your Friendship Garden

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Getting my Credit[Karma] Back on Track

I've always prided myself on my high credit score. Don't get me wrong, it was never through the roof amazing, but I did make some very beneficial decisions at an early age.

When I was 18, many of my friends were scared of credit cards - scared of having money that wasn't really theirs, and getting in debt. Rightly so, we should never want to be in debt. The year I turned 18, was the year that the economy really started to stagnate. Friends were watching their parents struggle because of debt, thus they definitely did not want a credit card.

I was the opposite. Of course, I was weary of debt. I knew that if I someday wanted to buy a house, I was going to need to start building my credit ASAP. I couldn't be happier with the decision I made. I got my first cc from my bank when I was 19. A few months later I ran into some rental problems where I had $900 of my hard earned money tied up into a place I didn't end up renting. The cc helped me to move to Ohio and then, once that money was available, I paid it off. A few months later my house was on fire. I was so grateful that I had made that decision for emergencies.

Since 2007, my life has been a whirlwind. I'm not proud of some of the financial decisions I have made. Overall, I've been self-sustaining. I have 3 cc's, an auto loan with no cosigner, over $25k in student loans and a couple of department store cc's. That's a lot of credit, and a lot of debt.

Since we began planning the wedding, lowering my debt has been my #1 savings goal. Wait, savings? Remember when I said that I understand credit? Here's another example. Instead of putting all of my money into savings for my wedding, I've decided the best plan of action is to pay off my cc's. By doing this, I open up the money I can borrow from those accounts and build my score back up in case I need a loan.

I didn't realize how low my score had become because of the small amount of credit I had open. A lot of my cards are functioning over 50%, and a great credit score has 30% or less. Yesterday my coworker introduced me to Credit Karma.

I am seriously in love with this website. Not only can I see that my score is low because I am using a higher percentage of my cards, but it also generates scenarios that affect my credit score. There's over a dozen including "if I pay off x amount," "if I open a new card," or "If I let a card go into collections," etc.

Don't be scared that it will be another "credit hit." Credit Karma uses a soft hit, so it does not negatively affect your credit score, as a credit check does. Previously, you get one free credit check a year. This website allows near constant monitoring.

Why do you provide free credit scores?

Credit Karma believes consumers have a right to know this information with no charge or without the bait and switch of 30 days free followed by enrollment products with confusing opt outs. We subsidize our cost of pulling the credit scores by selling advertising on the site.

[It is important to note that your score doesn't change immediately after making a payment.]

Perhaps one of the things I like the most? It challenges me to pay down my credit. I've been trying to make it a challenge for awhile, but seeing it like this, makes it even better.

Happy, happy Wednesday, by the way. Congratulations to all of the couples who can now legally marry and receive benefits. I could not be happier, and cannot wait for the wedding invitations!!

P.s. Read this awesomely informative article from Freedom to Marry: After DOMA

P.p.s. Linking up with my favorite Wild Card

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Friend-Making Monday...on Tuesday

Okay, okay. I know it's not Monday anymore. But I suuuuper love answering questions like this. So I'm doing it anyway! It's nice to do little posts in between the big ones. This week is full of LIFE trying to get in the way of blogging, so I'll catch ya when I catch ya ;)

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Ten Simple Questions

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? My hair will pass for Day 3.

2. Do you prefer to pay for things with cash or plastic? I prefer to use my credit card to build my credit and it’s easier for me to track than cash buuut I need to get better at paying them off. Mreh.

3. What is one word that you use too often? I mean. It came up one day in Ohio and it’s still there 5 years later…

4. Who is the last person outside of your family who said “I love you” to you? Uhhh, maybe a best friend?

5. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone and mailed it? I actually wrote two last week and one today.

6. Have you ever been called upon for jury duty? No L and I really want to be

7. How many keys are on your key ring? Hmmm…3? One is for the doorhandle I had on my room last year…I just haven’t taken it off

8. List two characteristics that you want to change about yourself. I wish I stuck to my organization aaaand I wish that I was better at sticking with my financial goals (I understand what needs to be done, I just don’t stick with it…)

9. Do you bring your own shampoo and conditioner when you travel, or do you use what the hotel provides? I bring my own!

10. What is your birthstone? Do you like it? Alexandrite. Or the Pearl. I love pearls! Alexandrite is pretty light for my taste

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Insta-Recap and Saturday decisions

I've made a decision.

I'm going to spend less, save more, and work less so I can have more time with my fiance and friends.

I used to be the go-to girl for all of my friends. I liked that. I liked that my friends would call me at all hours of the night if they needed a friend. I liked when people would show up at my house and make me go on a long drive with them, just so they can talk. I liked that I would send people "thinking of you texts" just because I was thinking of them.

Nowadays, my time goes more like this. "I haven't talked to so and so in awhile. I better check in when I get off work." Get off work, drive to other job, work. Get off, drive home, kiss my already sleeping fiance and pass out. Rinse and Repeat.

I feel like I've been such a bad friend because I've been focusing on an end game - affording my wedding. If I just keep working my ass off, I will get there. If I just keep working my ass off we will have a wonderful wedding! WAIT just one minute missy... who is going to come to your wedding if you don't have time to see them or talk to them or express an interest in their lives??? Besides, really, what is soooo important about the party? I know, you're a party girl. You love parties buuuut let's get serious. It's not about the wedding, it's about your marriage. Right now all I can talk and think about is this wedding, and Iman and I have just been sitting there going "How's your day? It was good. How was yours? Good. Busy. Great. Want to lay in bed and watch tv? Want to eat food? We should go on a walk. Yeah, let's do that." And then we go to bed. I like ADVENTURE and I'm just way too tired to adventure.

So I'm for real going to make some changes. I'm not going to be scared to quit or go talk to my boss about working less hours. I have a built in safety net living at home and if I ask, I will receive. So I'm asking for my wedding to work out without me working my body to death.

I know I've been talking like this for awhile, but I also happened to come across some awesomely inspiring blogs yesterday. Check them out:

Because, Ego by A Practical Wedding
The Consequences of Banning Abortion after 22 Weeks by Notes From The Southern Hemisphere
****Tear jerker alert!!!!

And for some fun! My Instagram Recap

Father's Day Sushi with +Papa Perry's

Monday morning work love

A Samsung Galaxy as big as me!

Future Bro-in-Law's birthday was on Tuesday

Aforementioned bro-in-law's receipt when they visited me at work

My first pool day in forever, getting my tan on

on Thursday I was a hot mess

TBT Hotmess Photoshoot #JacksonKaplanPhotography

TBT XOXO Photoshoot #RachelHoadleyPhotography

This is so my life, reposted

Our engagement pictures are done being edited! #MicaMyerscoughPhotography

Link up at Pearl's and Curls!

Happy Saturday!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Wedding Word Vomit :)

Hello There Wednesday!

How is it the middle of the week already? I haven't even been working both jobs a zillion hours!

Today I wanted to talk about our upcoming wedding. There are a lot of things I didn't realize, maybe some advice to give (since I'm 7 months into being engaged!) and some stories to share!

I haven't yet shared our engagement story, though I did show off some ring bling a few days after the proposal. Things have been a whirlwind ever since.

Iman made this collage when he picked up the ring

When we got engaged we were living together and our lease was going to be up in 2 months. The week after our engagement we secretly decided we wanted to move back home to my moms. It looked like the best decision for us. Then came the engagement party, which was phenomenal - hosted by my aunt and like one of our typical family parties, but we got to merge the two families! A couple of weeks later my dad texted me from an ambulance because he had a pulmonary embolism. He was hospitalized for 10 days.

At our engagement party

This, combined with some problems on Iman's side of the family, solidified why we needed to move home. So we did. (BTW all of this happened between Thanksgiving and MLK JR Day). We both went back to old employments, but clearly, we needed more stability and a bigger income. Nevertheless, we spent the months of February and March frantically booking everything because we wanted to get married in October. If you've planned a wedding you know that really, you only need 6 months BUT the good places book up a year in advance.

The day after all of the deposits were paid, we decided to postpone the wedding six months. So for the last several months we've just been focusing on working to save money. I haven't gotten to do anything crafty yet :(

We're incredibly blessed, though. Not only were we able to find a date that allowed us more time to save up (since we are paying for ourselves) but it works out that it is also Spring Break for the teachers in my life - AKA my mom, best friend and another best friend is in school in NC. The crazy thing is that it allowed other friends from out of state more likely to come - our wedding photographer and a friend who is due with her second baby in October!

The timing is perfect, although, of course, I am still constantly worrying about money.

We got these tattoos about 6 weeks before he proposed

Friends and family are contributing to our wedding any way they can. Let me tell you: Getting Married in Southern California is NOT Cheap. Not even if you have half of the things you need taken care of. Venues on average are $5k without catering. HOLY COW.

Luckily, we were able to find a wonderful golf course that includes catering, gave us the best deal where we get to have service, the cutest chairs, and mood lighting included for the best price. On top of that, it's the venue that made my jaw drop when I walked in - which I didn't expect. I'm sappy, but I just never imagined myself getting giddy like that.

from La Habra Golf facebook

My mom is making my wedding dress. She made her own, a vintage-inspired 1800s dress, and now she will make mine inspired by the 1950s. My godmother is going to buy the fabric. It is going to be such a wonderful, meaningful experience. I never imagined buying a dress. I just knew my mom had to make it. How else am I going to find THE perfect dress when the dressmaker doesn't know me?

My dear friend Amanda is going to do our baking as our wedding gift. I just adore her. She's going to make it for 200 people!!!

My uncle is gifting us the DJ - along with an emcee - HIM! It's going to be such a blast. He's got great energy. Plus his son is our ring bear (he doesn't like to say bearer). He's already begun practicing his aisle walk.

Lil T!!!

My namesake will be our main flower girl. She's the oldest of the young cousins, named after me, and Iman is completely smitten with her because she can throw a football and she is a little bit in love with him.

Raylinn!!

We're including 5 attendants plus 2 jr attendants each. I'm so happy that his younger brothers are the same age as my cousin and adopted sister.

Our photographer - Holly Williams - is flying out from Ohio to take care of our pictures. Photography was the defining moment when we decided to push our date back. We couldn't find a 2 shooter package with the things we wanted to include for less than 2,500 (before taxes). My desired budget was 1,000...2,000 if we had to! Then Holly posted an Instagram of her new business cards and on a whim - preparing myself for her to say no - I asked her if she would come to Cali for mine. SHE SAID YES! So we are able to get her services, fly her in, and pay for a 2-night hotel stay for under 2,000. The best part is that she and her hubby get a Cali vacation. (Hellooo, I live 5 minutes from Disneyland).

Photo from Holly Lynn Photography

I also was able to win a discounted price for a day-of-coordinator and I seriously am so grateful for this. Enter into any contests you find. Liz is an amazing wedding planner. She recommended our venue and has helped so much along the way, even though we are only paying for day-of service. I met her at the venue last weekend and she is a riot. Amazing. My mom loved her, too. I mean, we happened to look up as we were standing under the gazebo and notice spider webs. My mom mentioned that I'm allergic. Liz then made it her mission to make sure and stay until the events director was finished with a meeting to put in our file the spider allergy.

I am just so grateful for everything that has been presented to us!! Iman's promotion and my new job with promotion opportunities is really going to make this possible. He gets bonuses now and doesn't have to work 50 million hours (though, as I mentioned, I do.)

Today, I started a couple of new savings techniques. One is saving every $5 I get. I don't have any yet, but I'm going to do it tonight when I am at work. I wanted to start this in January but forgot. Two is to honestly look at what I spend on and STOP. My friend who is studying abroad in Venice made me get Viber last night so I can text her everything I spend money on. So that she can yell at me when I spend it needlessly. Three is to set up an Impulse Save account. I've been looking into it since November, but hadn't done it yet. Lastly, I am going to go through our stuff and sell it. I know I have a million books I can sell, even if it is for $1 or $2, that's still progress. Plus, I might be able to have some fun projects (when I have time) and sell those.

Linking up for the first time!

Have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Oh, yes I can

I received this amazing warrior queen quote from Laura in an email on Friday and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it and all of the parts of life that it encompasses.

Self doubt isn't just in your feelings when it comes to relationships or school or work. No, self doubt encompasses your entire life. When you doubt your actions and feelings, it can be crippling. But this defense is truly the only thing that can combat it. Yes, I can!

That same day I saw this Margaret Cho quote.

I'm ready for my revolution.

When I was younger Gotta Kick it Up was one of my favorite Disney Channel movies. Not because of the story line (which, I don't even remember), but because of its positive message in the midst of all of the negatives kids and teens are bombarded with. Si, se puedes!

I've always lacked self-doubt and had self-esteem in the big areas. I never really struggled with my looks. I had my fair share of teen meltdowns because my hips are too big and my hair is too fluffy. But on the daily, it never bothered me much. I loved who I was. I was sassy and in your face and you better believe that I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself. I ruled my world.

Then I got a boyfriend. Things got shaky. I always managed to build myself back up and not listen to the peer pressure. I always felt more in touch with myself and was able to battle the anxiety. Believing in "yes, I can" and my inner warrior queen always worked.

It's a daily struggle, as I'm sure it is for every single person who is in touch with themselves. Truly thinking about it and addressing issues are what make you a stronger person. They are the battle against self-doubt. Don't think that doubt is a bad thing. It is a natural thing. Bravery and self-love should always prevail.

Lately my self-doubt involves my ability to stick to one thing. Fine, I will say it "I can be a flake."

Not always and not where it truly matters, but I am a flake. I overbook myself and I don't leave time for me and I start something and plan something and I don't finish it.

It's not that I can't finish something, rather that I just love to do too much.

I'm a Gemini, we love everything. I want to do a million things at once and then I get burnt out. I put my whole heart into something and then I run out of heart space for me. Does that make sense?

Right now, I'm celebrating my yes, I can.

Yes, I can make positive health habits stick. [Look at how actively you've been trying to be healthier]
Yes, I can budget and pay for my wedding.
Yes, I can get myself out of debt.
Yes, I can enjoy a better standard of life through time management. [Aka live off a budget so I can only work one job and have more time for relationships and myself]
Yes, I can make my warrior queen dream a reality.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Friend Makin' Monday [Link Up Questionnaire]

Just Wondering

1. Do you wear glasses and/or contacts?

I wear glasses all day err day. I seriously cannot wait till my someday laser eye surgery. I would love to be able to see when I wake up! Truthfully, I will probably buy a pair of non prescription glasses and wear them anyway.

2. Do you have summer vacation plans? If so, where are you going?

No summer vacations this year. It’s all about working to save money for the wedding!

3. What is your favorite food to eat for breakfast?

My favorite breakfast side dish is definitely a taco. On that note, I could eat breakfast for every meal – sweet breakfast, savory breakfast, smoothies, etc

4. Do you enjoy window shopping?

Mreh, not particularly. Only if I need ideas for something.

5. What is your favorite candle scent?

Hmm, I happen to love cake batter and vanilla.

6. If you had to choose between going to a zoo or an aquarium, which one would you pick?

I love both! Probably the aquarium, though. I love to go to the tide pool part and see all of the different swimming organisms.

7. How many times do you plan to exercise this week?

I’m going to shoot for walking tonight and Thursday, moving tables tomorrow [seriously…I’m getting muscles from Tuesday night setups at Bdubs] and swimming on Monday and Friday

8. Do you speak another language fluently?

I bet if you made me speak Spanish fluently, I could. But I’m a chicken.

9. What are you currently reading?

Nothing because I’m horrible at time management.

10. What are you looking forward to most in the coming week?

Having time off with my honey!

P.s. Those promised blogs will be up soon!

Friday, June 14, 2013

The Work-Budget Dilemma

Obviously, I don't write in my blog regularly and this time I cannot blame it on lack of inspiration, motivation organization, or any other -zation that applies. Instead, I can blame it entirely on...drum roll please...the work-budget dilemma that I've faced for the past several years.

I'm just going to put it out there that I have been working for 8 years...and I have worked for Mervyns, Faculty Club, Pottery Barn, Campfire Kids, Columbus Nanny, Fruitti Yogurt, California Terriyaki Grill, Buffalo Wild Wings, Mi Casa, Lazy Dog Cafe, Victoria's Secret, Planet Bravo, BMW, Kymberly Marciano Photography, Buffalo Wild Wings (again), La Habra Collision, Hollywood Music Magazine, Live Magazine, LA Parent, University Link 15 different companies. This does not include either of my two internships, two freelance magazines, or consistent babysitting jobs that I have had.

I know, that's a lot of work. Usually I am working at least 2 jobs at a time. Everyone calls me the busy bee, and I have lost some friendships because of my busy schedule. I like to be busy, but I also have a lot events in my life that cost money. Some are planned (roadtrips, moving out, concerts, wedding). Many of these events have been unplanned, like my house fire*, luck with Tut-Tut and the saga of driving a 1988 pick up truck*. I wouldn't change any of these events.

Now that I'm planning my life with someone else though, the exhaustion of two jobs is so much heavier than it used to be - or maybe I'm just old. Unfortunately, it is a necessity. Throw in this economy and I'm broke. Not poor or rich, definitely in debt but still not working out a great budget.

It's a vicious cycle. I am literally only home to sleep most days, so there is no time to prepare food or even go shopping. So then I eat at Buffalo Wild Wings at night, or somewhere for lunch; sucking up more of my money, forcing me to work more hours. And then I decide I need a break from all of my work - so I splurge on a vacation to Vegas or a much needed date night.

Something has to give. I cannot work these crazy hours and ruin my relationships, exhaust my body and make no dent on my debt or bank account. I didn't mean for this post to seem a little ranty. Yesterday, I actually wrote about mine and Iman's story, then decided against posting it. For the past week my head has been swimming with a post about friendship and earlier Laura sent me this awesome picture about self-doubt. I really, really want to write about those things.

But I'm going to go drown myself in more coffee, face plant my desk, and prepare myself for my last 14 hour work day until Monday.

P.S. I swear I've written posts on the house fire and Chuck the Truck, but I have not. I will share, because they've made me such a stronger WQ. Yay for exciting upcoming posts!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Being a Warrior Queen Means...Me

It's never been my intention to make this blog about looks or anything like that. When people hear I want to start my own magazine they say "Oh! Like Seventeen?"

No.

I don't want my magazine/blog to be about looks, fashion, getting the guy, mainstream things, etc...there are already countless magazines that do that.

I want my magazine to be more similar to BYou [which, pardon me for a moment but scared me because I want to change the world, I don't want someone else to...]. But then I stopped having my little hissyfit in my head and realized that...I just want to change the world anyway I can.

I join and volunteer with nonprofits because I want to help. I write articles that I think are meaningful, and I try my best to be supportive in everything. There is a niche for me - even though the magazine may have the same ideas as me, we are not one and the same, nor would our magazines be one and the same. [[Thanks daddy for reminding me of that!!]]

While coming to that realization, I also realized that avoiding talking about looks and body image did not benefit me or my readers. I am still a human being - a female human being who has spent her life being bombarded with society telling me to care about my looks. So, of course I do. Ignoring this is like pushing it under the rug.

I was skeptical at first about posting about my journey to getting healthier [[think of the wording. Not losing weight or being fat...those are the words they want us to use. No, I'm using this warrior queen word called HEALTHY. It is different for every person.]]. But I posted my Wanted: An Accountability Partner post on Friday because I was fed up with my own lack of motivation.

I got some support for it! Woooo hoooo!! Then today I saw Brittney's Reality Check and decided to just go for it! Do it!

Of course, I'm starting this my bday week and when I'm going to Vegas, but that's okay.

I am holding myself accountable for all of my choices and actions. Only I can make changes in my life, only I can control the outcome because I control my reaction.

Raewyn

Monday, June 3, 2013

Engagement Photoshoot!!!!

I have literally five minutes to post this on my lunch break because the Sbux Wi-Fi was being annoying but I just wanted to post our sneak peeks from our engagement shoot yesterday!!

Sneak Peek #1 from Mica!

After barely sleeping Saturday night [thanks to some 8th grade graduation celebration going on next door until 3 am], I woke up bright and early for a Sunday and got all ready for a day of adventure!!!

My mom curled my hair in loose ringlets, since my friend in hair school decided to go to Vegas instead, that I pulled into waves. My hair is naturally wavy, but also frizzy, so I decided to do this so that it could look natural and nice, but not frizzy and natural. It turned out fabulous!!

Then I quickly whipped up mini coconut cream pies and banana cream pies for dinner at a dear Ohio State friend's house. These turned out perfect! I should have taken pictures, but I put them in mini jars, inspired by Love From the Oven.

I rushed to MAC to get my makeup done - I was so worried it was going to look extreme, but it didn't! I bought some awesome coral lipgloss, with lip liner and nude lipstick. YAY for more girly makeup stuff.

Then came the good stuff!! Iman and I ended up eating at Lucille's because our photographer's power had gone out and she needed to finish charging the camera battery. It was so much fun just relaxing and having a Sweet Tea cocktail before. Our photographer, Mica, is a friend of Iman's but I had never met her so I was nervous. Luckily she is awkward like me so we got along great!!

We drove around South OC, trying to decide exactly where we wanted to go. We ended up at O'Neil Park for awhile, and found some great scenic places to do a regular photoshoot. I wore a white dress. AH! It's so real :)

Iman was so funny though. He fell off a cliff at our crazy hike on Memorial Day [not his first cliff to go off of either...] and had a cut on his knee that was healing. He managed to hit it during the photoshoot so flies kept buzzing around and he was freaking out.

My poor fiance. I tried my best to not laugh and wave the flies away...

Then we headed over to the creek area by my old house. It's awesome because we used to hang out at that park when we were in high school. i think it has sentimental value, not sure if the boy does.

We unleashed the paint!! Mister fiance is very competitive so let's just say I ended up more thoroughly covered in paint. I'm also shorter, so the majority of the paint went on my face. After some intense paint battles where I threw purple paint directly into his ear...my maid of honor came and helped us so we could get a pretty cloud of paint around us while we kissed.

That part was so much fun!!! Though awkward me did manager to get blue powder paint in her mouth aaaaand spit blue for a good 30 minutes. Did I mention I'm a hypochondriac. I checked the bottle like 15 times to make sure it was nontoxic and didn't swallow any saliva for that 30 mins.

Then we piled back in the car, rushed home and showered and was only 6 minutes late to our dinner date! #ManAreWeGood.

ANYWAY! I might be late back to work so I better scram. Happy [tired] Monday!

Raewyn

P.s. Miraculously, my MAC eye makeup survived all of that and I looked refined for dinner. SCORE. They might be magicians.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

June is HERE!

I am so extremely excited. June is my favorite month.

Not only is it both mine and the fiance's birthdays [359 days apart], but it is the beginning of summer and the start of adventure season!!!

Do you go on adventures in the summer? I don't usually get to go on full vacations, but I make sure to have day adventures. So, I thought today would be a look back at previous summer adventures! This year might be tough with two jobs and wedding planning buuuuuut June will be for adventures. Engagement photoshoot. My birthday. Vegas. Iman's Birthday. Sunset photoshoot. Wedding time. The only part I'm missing is the Warped Tour part. mrehhhh.

Be ready for a LOT of pix...