Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday: I'm Not Sure What The Hype Is About

Ohh Black Friday.
The busiest shopping day of the year! My old boss used to have a count down until Black Friday. At Mervyn's, they would bring us breakfast and the day would pass rather quickly, but very stressfully. I remember the first Black Friday I worked I almost cried.

I was credit greeter, which means I got to go around asking people if they didn't want to open credit cards. I was 16. I've always been particularly gifted in upsales, so I got that wonderful job. On any normal day, I was happy to be a credit greeter. But interrupting Orange County housewives from their desperate search for THE perfect Christmas gift is daunting. To say the least.
This all leads to the point I'm trying to make -- when did the day after Thanksgiving [[although in many places people camped out making that THANKSGIVING]] a day of materialism. Seriously?

In my opinion, I'm always more excited about the holidays because I get to see my family and friends and eat delicious food. I don't CARE if anyone gets me a present. I like to MAKE presents because they're so much more heartfelt....

So many people are just so concerned with material things and "I want this for Christmas," I have to camp out at this store so that I can get this gift for so and so at the crack of dawn or they won't love me anymore.

NEWS FLASH!! If the person only loves you because of the gifts you buy them...THEY DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU. and if it's your's your own fucking fault for bringing them up that way.

Obviously, materialism pisses me off. But it's just ridiculous. The holidays are about LOVE. Showing each other how you feel...and the best way to do that is usually not through presents...all I'm sayin'.

So PLEASE, PLEASEEEE show your loved ones how much you love them this year, in ways OTHER than just materialism?


P.S. I just want to point out that the "BIG HUGE SALES" on Black Friday are really not that big of a difference from any other sales on any other holidays or days in the month of December. Honest blog, I used to work in retails, I know how it works. You usually find the bigger sales on random other days because they need to make daily sales goals...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thank youuu

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday with family and friends or whomever you got to spend this wonderful day with. I just wanted to briefly write a thank you for the things that have come to my mind throughout the day today!

Thank you... my mommy. For always being so amazing and taking care of me in so many ways. I would be so lost without you. You really are one of my best friends. my daddy. For always believing in me and showing me off as your little rockstar. I love our traditions and inside jokes. my amazing family. Even though I may not have seen you today, I want to thank you for the constant love and support and excitement about the things that happen in my life. I am so glad to have you in it and to have been able to pick many of you as my family, and for you to call me family too. my best friends, friends, acquaintances, and new friends. OH MY GAWD. without your support I would be a complete mess in life. You guys truly help me stay strong and stay a warrior queen. Thank you for constantly being there, someone always picks up the slack when someone else can no longer be there for me, and for that, I want to say thank you. the troops. I've never been one in support of this war, but I have always supported our troops and the amazing things they do for our country. I can't wait for Christopher to come home in January. =] But I'm sad Copter is being deployed to Japan for 2 years =[ the people who do random acts of kindness. This might be cheesy but, you really make my day.

Also, I am thankful for the many opportunities that come my way because of my determination and the love and support of those near to me.

You never cease to amaze me!! I hope everyone sleeps tight and is not too tired for their Black Friday festivities...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

College Suicide Rates

I stumbled across this article this morning and I find this completely appalling. SOMETHING needs to be done so that college students are NOT getting to the breaking point. Enjoy...

A 'national crisis' of student suicide: Colleges are straining to help young people who are struggling with depression and mental health issues.

Nov. 23—The rate of suicide and depression on college campuses is rising, and last month the trend hit St. Cloud State University.


Two students killed themselves, causing the university’s president to send a mass e-mail encouraging students to relax and, if needed, get help. The deaths heightened concerns about the economy’s pressure on anxious students and the colleges that are trying to help them.

“We are not talking about test anxiety here,” President Earl Potter later said. “We are talking about a stew of challenges, on top of which our students have to deal with academic success and often the challenge of finding money to keep themselves in school.”

Potter called mental health problems among college students “a national crisis.”

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. About 1.1 percent of 8,000 Minnesota post-secondary students surveyed by the University of Minnesota’s Boynton Health Service in 2008 had attempted suicide within the past 12 months, up slightly from the year before.

At colleges around the nation, more students are seeking help. The percentage of students who reported a diagnosis of depression rose from 10.3 percent in 2000 to 14.9 percent in spring of 2008 — the most recent comparable data — according to the American College Health Association’s annual National College Health Assessment.

This is the busiest time of year, several counseling centers said, because class work ramps up and finals loom.

Colleges are responding with a mix of counseling and support services. The efforts go beyond suicide prevention, addressing stress and depression. Studies show that good mental health leads to good grades and graduation, so schools say that keeping students healthy is an important part of their mission.

But as a recent Minnesota State Colleges and University report found, counseling costs money, and there’s no clear source of it.

“Institutions like ours were never funded to provide the services we need to provide today,” Potter said.

Stress over succeeding

Even in high school, Nellie Brau was a perfectionist — an athlete, an artist, an A student. Her stress about succeeding grew, and after asking her mom for help, doctors diagnosed depression and anxiety. She wanted to take action, so she started a group for students to discuss their mental illness in an open, confidential environment. Being proactive helped her get healthy.

But then came college, where she “absolutely felt like a number.” The depression returned.

“I didn’t reach out, I didn’t know where to turn,” said Brau, now a junior majoring in global studies and French at the University of Minnesota.

She has noticed that the university has become more vocal about mental health. It launched a task force that recommended creating a website where students could learn about mental health, get screened for common afflictions and find help. As part of Welcome Week for freshmen, it introduces services for students (for those who have insurance and for those who don’t) and offers presentations from a group called Active Minds, which works to erase the stigma of mental illness.

Brau joined her sophomore year. Members of that group discuss how mental health has affected their lives. But Brau sees these issues touching all her friends.

“On the campus setting, on a day-to-day basis, most students are stressed and under pressure,” she said. “One truth I know is that all my friends seem to be stressed out on a very regular basis, and they’re trying to find a way to vent or deal with the pressure they feel they’re under.”

Brau now sees a therapist, exercises and paints to center herself.

Funding is a ‘challenge’

The down economy has put pressure on both sides of the counseling equation. Even before the recession hit, more U of M students were citing stress about the cost of education, said Glenn Hirsch, director of the U’s counseling and consulting services.

“Now we’re seeing situations where their options are very limited,” he said. “If you’re already struggling with depression or anxiety, that makes for a much more serious issue.”

Meanwhile, colleges and universities are struggling to fund beefed-up care.

In a recent report, a task force within the MnSCU system recommended ways schools should step up and coordinate their online and in-person mental health services, but noted that “finding the resources to address these issues [is a] challenge.”

“Perhaps a new mental health services fee might be instituted,” the report said. Spokeswoman Melinda Voss said colleges and universities provide the services out of their general budgets.

Despite cuts in other areas, St. Cloud added a position to its counseling services last summer, said John Eggers, director of counseling and physiological services.

It has also created what it calls a “behavioral intervention team,” which encourages talk between groups that interact with students but might not have communicated with one another in the past. For example, a residence hall employee might notice a student staying in bed for days but not pass along that message to that student’s academic adviser.

Similar teams are springing up across the country, Eggers said, in part because of the 2007 Virginia Tech shootings. Last year, the St. Cloud intervention team fashioned support for 114 students who were referred.

That system might have helped save at least one life this fall. A student and veteran had disappeared from campus and, with help from his parents and the police, St. Cloud State was able to find and assist him.

It was a “potentially tragic” case, Potter said, but it ended well.

Jenna Ross —612-673-7168


The University of Minnesota offers its students a free, online screening for depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, generalized anxiety, post-traumatic stress and alcohol abuse at:

To see more of the Star Tribune, or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to

Copyright © 2009, Star Tribune, Minneapolis

Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

I found this article here.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


"A goal is a dream with a deadline," - Anonymous

Have you ever been working toward a goal and then became slightly side-tracked for several years because of extenuating circumstances?

I have.

Time for a little background:
When I was in high school, my best friends were a year above me and I never had class with any of them. However they were all in yearbook. Sophomore year I decided to attempt to join the yearbook class to be with them. The class was full but the teacher liked me and stuck me into journalism instead. As per my usual enthusiasm, I went at it with all I had and by the first month i was a writer, photographer, editor AND I did layout. I slowly began to learn everything there was to do to run a newspaper. The editor in chief called me her protege. I was to be assistant editor in chief my junior year and editor in chief my senior year. As it worked out, I WAS second in command my junior year - desktop editor, aka I was in charge of the entire layout of the newspaper - however, most of the time I was doing the editor in chief's job alongside her. Doubtlessly, I was editor in chief my senior year. Somewhere in that span of time, I fell in love with journalism and it became my life passion. I spent about 30 hours a week for 9 months of the year for 3 years working on this newspaper. It was my life, my baby.
So obviously, when I moved away to Ohio to pursue that dream at Ohio State University....but didn't work on anything journalism related until this past fall...I began feeling a little off track.

It started freshman year, but I thought I was getting it back when I was accepted into the journalism program. Something was still missing though. Then I took my news editing class and i felt AMAZING because I was writing again. But the quarter ended and something was still missing.

I've gone through a lot of changes since my senior year of high school; for both the better and worse. I lost sight of who I was for awhile and I've been trying to build it back. I've felt almost completely like the person I want to be again but there was still ONE thing missing.

I think I've found it. I think that when I got that internship today -- WHICH BY THE WAY I'M NOW AN INTERN!! -- I found what was missing in my life.

So many things emotionally have gone wrong in the last 3 weeks, but I am HAPPY and EXCITED for my future because I found that missing puzzle piece and again, I'm on my way toward my goal.

If you're feeling a little side tracked - just get out there and try one more time. =]
You might get exactly what you were looking for.

Monday, November 23, 2009


Now would be a fantastic time to write a blog, however I am hand writing this one and editing it VERY severely to ensure that I do not say anything I will regret nor anything that will hurt someone that I love, although I do intentionally want to hurt them in the ways that they've hurt me. But I am a stronger, better person, clearly. Thus, I will ponder this and write it by hand first.

Also, MANY exciting things to come =]
Today my boss told me they are considering me for a trainee position. = more money
Tomorrow I have an interview for an internship at Live Magazine.
Next week I have an interview to be a teacher's aide.

Exciting things are happening - I'm going to go focus on those.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I'm leaving for OHIO tomorrow so my posts may be sporadic. I'm feeling very weird and serene right now, which is very not me. But I am SO excited for Ohio. I'm going to watch the M!CH!G@N game with my old roommates from OSU... =] So you might not hear from me till Sunday - but I will probably post tomorrow <3

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rumor has it!!

Rumors are so snarky. When I hear them I just want to wrinkle my nose in disgust and laugh my head off that people actually believe that crap. Why would people even spread that crap? Boredom. Jealousy. Stupidity. Meanness.

All things that warrior queens most certainly are NOT. And it definitely is not warrior queen behavior to start or pass on a rumor. Don't do it. It will only hurt other people. Not everyone is so crazy as me that they just laugh at them.

For example, in high school there were a lot of rumors that I was a crackwhore. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a crazy person. Very True. Granted, I am also very skinny. However, anyone who knows me also knew that a) I didn't do any drugs and barely drank and b) that I had never done anything more than make out until I was 18. WOO! It turns out my friend Ben had said it to someone as a joke, and they believed him and started spreading it around. It was to the point where random people would come up to me and say "oh you're the crackwhore right?" and I'd laugh in their faces.

Well, yesterday a cross-country rumor reached my lovely ears all about a guy I had met the night before (Saturday night). Apparently, I sleep with married men. Also, I run around parties yelling "I just wanna fuck!" It's so in my personality to do these things. Because I have no morals whatsoever and love STDs!!

You better have gotten my sarcasm.

The point I'm trying to make here is that rumors are no fun a lot of the time - they cause girls to become depressed, and some have even killed themselves because of the damage done to them indirectly from the rumor. We know how cruel girls can get.

So if you're out there and you hear a rumor, or you see someone looking really down - try to do your part and put yourselves in their shoes. Then go out there and do what you would want some one to do for you. =]

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Break-Up Central

Hello, and welcome to the breakup capital of the world - November!

Is it just me, or do couples tend to break up in November? It could just be this year but I have a feeling it's a yearly thing - maybe attached to the big scary HOLIDAY SEASON! oh no! Heaven forbid you should spend Christmas together, buy gifts, visit families...

But seriously, I know of 10 confirmed cases of breakups in the past week! Ridiculous! It's like my facebook feed has been riddled with "__________ is now single." Insert my name into the blank, too. Only, I put my status as It's Complicated. Who's it complicated with? Me, myself, and I. That's right. My love life is pretty much a mess right now and I'm basically ignoring it until it decides to stop waging war on me and play fair. Nothing's fair in love and war and this week's abundance of heartbreak is a sure sign of that!

Luckily, for me, (in a sick, twisted way), I wasn't the only one dumped this week and therefore I have had PLENTY of distractions and very little time to be sad (slash my best friend is home visiting). I'm busy keeping my girls strong and in turn, that keeps me feeling strong! Helping others has some pretty awesome results on the personal level.

However, I would also like to point out that I know of 2 relationships that have been fixed in the last 24 hours and I have hope that most of these breakups are only temporary and everything will work out. If not, I know that we're all going to end up finding someone that makes us happier and everything will be good again. I'm such an optimist! haha.

This week though has only proven that timing really does make or break a relationship.

Also, what really is love?
A chemical reaction?
i don't think we'll ever know why we love someone or what it is...but I do know that it is a wonderful feeling and not something that can be faked.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Wednesday Epiphanies on Thursday Mornings

Today was Wednesday. Wednesdays are Sasha and Raewyn days. They're probably one of my favorite days of the week because we talk for an hour or two on very intellectual matters // or boys and life and she teaches me her wisdom and such. I'm like her little protege.

Today we got talking about how both of us are trying to be more outwardly "bitchy." Aka we both are really good at being strong in horrible situations but when people hurt us and then apologize we're get over it and tell them it's okay and to come back. But we need to be kinda bristly i think - or else those people will keep taking advantage of us.

I don't like to let people take advantage of me - and, I generally don't put up with it unless it's someone I really love or if I just decide it's not worth my time. Which I decide a lot of things aren't worth my time caring over. But I care too much about everything so there's your oxymoron for the day.

Anyway, I thought it be best that I compile a list of things that I'm no longer going to put up with in any form of relationship that I am forming with another human being. If we have a messed up relationship right now, all I want is to start over with my new criteria (which looks a lot like how I was at 17...)

1. If you want to talk about something important, CALL ME.
2. I'm going to say no to hanging out sometimes - I'm finding time for ME.
3. If I think there's a problem - I'm going to address it.
4. I'm going to have to know a helluvalot about you before I'm letting my guard down.
5. Don't guilt me into things.
6. I am no longer going to be an enabler.
7. Acceptable forms of communication: phone, person, letters.
8. If you don't want to be in my life - go. I'm not chasing people down anymore.
9. I'm not going to feel guilty for saying no.

I encourage others to do the same - it's very empowering! =]

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I was going to write a blog on putting up with Bullshit but I had to deal with bullshit tonight so I will save that for tomorrow! Instead I'll let you read another form of writing I revel in - Poetry. =]
That's my poetry website if you wanted to read some of the other works. Have a great night <3

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Old Friends <3

Oooh how I love old friends. And the way they can randomly spring up into your life when you least expect it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ragging on new friends. I love making new friends and some of my newest friends are the people I talk to the most and hang out with the most and are absofuckinglutely amazing!!

But old friends, just stir up something inside of me. Especially if it's been forever since I've seen them and for some reason we both need each other at this particular moment in time. For example my friend Cameron, whom I'm pretty sure will read this, is going on an adventure with me on Friday. We haven't hung out in about 2.5 years. We haven't seriously hung out on a regular basis in 4. But we've known each other for 8. So weird. So WEIRD.

This week though, we need each other. Because we each have something the other needs to cheer up -- the ability to make the other person happy and the ability to empathize for current situations.

That's the most amazing thing about friends - that we can make each other happy. It boggles my mind why people choose to hate each other in place of being friends. There's this girl that, I'm not going to lie, I really can't stand. But, I am completely open to being friends with her because I've never met her - maybe she's really awesome? Anyway, I keep having dreams that she and I are friends (though she'll never want to be my friend). But anyway, I guess I'm just of a different nature - I want to be friends with everyone.

In the meantime, though, I am WAY excited with my trifecta of old friends that are hitting me this week -- my best friend from 1st grade, Cameron, and my best friend is coming to visit! YAY

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Optimistically What is Meant to Be Will Be

There's no denying it...I'm ever the optimist. I always freak out or worry about things going horribly wrong, but truth is...I know things are going to work out so that I'm happy. I know that things between two people will work out, in some way.

I don't believe in destiny, but I do believe that two people can be meant for each other and what is meant to be will be. I fight with people over how it's not destiny, but to me destiny feels like it's pre-ordained and already worked out and there is NOTHING I can do to change the outcome.

But I do believe that I can change the outcome of my life. I believe that the way I act and react and the choices I make are just that CHOICES. But I also believe that when I choose something the story changes ahead of me so that my path will still lead toward what is meant to be, but that it changes. Kind of like in the CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE! books.

Thus, I am optimistic about what will happen. I believe if you follow your heart, you will get what is right for you, what is best, what makes you happiest.

I'm team follow your heart.

My heart will always lead me back to its home. We know where that is. =]

Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Male Species?

Oh, boys.

--This could be the end of my post and every single person interested in boys will know exactly what I'm talking about. But I'll clarify because I like to read the things that I write and I think my (nonexistant aside from the best friends and family) readers of my blog appreciate my insight (although slightly skewed possibly. Also, I like parenthesis today.)--

I believe I mentioned in my last post that this Asian boy came and asked me for relationship advice and basically I'm a love guru or something? Well, all of my girl friends come to me with their boy problems and in general they all revolve around the same thing...that things will work out IF BOYS ONLY GREW UP!

Alright, I hate to say it ladies, but we're 20. (well, I'm 20. you might not be. but...I don't know who "you" are). And based off of the way we were raised // says that it's ok for us to want to be married at 20. Girls used to get married at 12. That age is steadily going up (I know I don't want to be married at 20).

Boys however...are still just that at our age. -- I did post an article about this a few months back -- When the girls were marrying at 12...they weren't marrying 12 year old boys...they were marrying MEN. lol. AKA 30 year olds.

But society today is telling them it's okay to take longer to grow up. Which just drives us girls crazy. I mean, at one point we ARE going to have a ticking biological clock? - not for several years but still!!

What I'm trying to say is...when that boy is freaking out about the long-term relationship or the fact that they just told you they like you a WHOLE lot and maybe even love you and might want to marry you and then they run away from you for several days or weeks...don't take it personally.

I know it's hard not to, my last post is basically case and point me trying to say that being in love is very difficult because of just this...but I'm trying to believe myself when I know it's not something I should take personally.

Tonight, I got the dirt from some men. Aka my uncles / my aunt's boyfriend...and basically, freak outs like this are normal. So. Don't fret. Just go pamper yourself till they decide to realize they're crazy about you again.

Friday, November 6, 2009

I know, I know

I knoow I've been MIA for a week. It was not intentional at all. I kept trying to write but I kept getting distracted. On Monday, I had surgery on my foot ((nothing major)) and I started to write a post about Halloween and skanky girls...but then the vicodin kicked in and I passed out. I was down for the count all day Tuesday and stuck in bed with plenty of free time...and no motivation since then! But here it goes! -- although I'll finish my halloween one up later...

I am convinced LOVE is the biggest challenge I'm ever going to encounter...getting a 4.0 GPA in honors classes is wayyy easier than trying to figure out the heart.

Mostly, this is because every person, every situation, and every relationship is going to vary so drastically. There is no little formula you can plug in. No boy + girl = happiness. It's much more complicated than this. There isn't even a "if you structure your essay in this manner you'll get at least a C" formula. No. It's all hit or miss, timing, personality, situation.

People always ask me for relationship advice. I try my best to understand the situation. I tell them what I would do in the situation. But to follow their heart. Following your heart is usually the best solution. But what do you do when you're heart is going in 20 directions at once?

To be honest, I usually break down and cry at this point. And then I ask everyone I talk to for advice, although they're probably fucking tired of hearing about my problems at this point. But they're kind, they listen. And if that's not's time for a field trip to Barnes and Nobles' Self-Help section. [[this section can instantly make me calm]].

Sometimes, even that is not enough. Mostly because I'm a victim of doing things over the natural limit. You know, overanalyzing, overthinking, overexciting, over everything. I generally like that about myself. Except when I'm laying in bed all by myself crying because I feel so lost...

Music usually saves my soul. I also know this post is very scattered like my brain and my emotions right now, we can't blame it on the vicodin...i stopped taking that on Tuesday when it made me go all crazy. Also, I know this post isn't going to solve my problems. Nothing is. Because as soon as you solve one problem another one's going to pop up.

I'm okay with that, usually. I like solving problems. But I hate being in limbo. I like to know what's going on and especially hate it when people push me away or block me out...

I think this is all I'm going to write because if I keep going I'm going to sound even more crazy than I did last night when I met the Asian kid who asked me for love advice. I forgot he doesn't know me, or the way I talk so I sounded like a complete crazy. Which I am. But good crazy.

Always try for good crazy...

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