Tuesday, September 29, 2009

PMS Hell

Okay, I know I have been SERIOUSLY slacking on this blog but things have been a little crazy adjusting to school and work (I got a new job and start sunday!!) Also, last week I was on this crazy PMS rant and frankly, I'm surprised people even wanted to talk to me, much less actually hang out with me. It was probably for the better that I didn't post. Isn't PMS a killer though?

I was literally having intensely crazy mood swings and major self-confidence issues. One minute I'd be crying because I had been bailed on again! and the next I'd be laughing hysterically about something that probably wasn't even that funny. The worst part is that I know my emotions are being crazy and I should just relax but I have no idea how to achieve that relaxation - especially when I'm all hormonal. My poor boyfriend was visiting and lay victim to my tantrums and rants (though I of course tried to avoid being crazy to him at all possible costs).

It all culminated on Thursday when I got in this HUGE fight with my mom because I'm so high strung. It's like when I'm PMSing I am a completely different person with intensified OCD tendencies and high-strung personality behaviors. Of course, because I was being so irrational our fight wasn't about anything that was hugely important or life or death or anything...we fought over cheese. That's right, cheese. Here's the story.

My mom was trying to be super sweet and rushed home after work to make us all hamburgers before I had class at SIX. She wanted us to all be able to eat together because my night classes have seriously been conflicting with family dinner time. Anyway, she forgot to buy American cheese for the hamburgers, and this is the only cheese I really find acceptable on hamburgers. I tried to stay calm. I really am trying to work on that...but it somehow worked otu into a huge fight and mental break down on my part.

[[Side note]] After I realized this isn't the first time I've gotten in a fight about cheese when I'm PMSing. It used to happen almost ever month when I was 14 and 15. But it was over the Easy Cheese in a Can. I used to be / am obsessed with that stuff. I must be super weird and cheese is what I crave when I'm hormonal.

But my point is...by Saturday it was all gone. My moods have returnedto a manageable level and I'm looking back at the girl I was last week going who the fuck is she? And thank god my boyfriend loves me enough to stick through it!! haha.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Let's all go get married!

Why hello there!

Sorry for the week-long hiatus. My laptop decided to commit suicide and, with classes, things have been a little crazy, to say the least. But I got a new hard drive today and my dad is helping me install all of the stuff, so we should be good to go.

Included in my craziness, is a little friend relationship drama...but we'll get to that. Mostly, I'm curious as to what people's thoughts are on the right age to marry. Not that there is a "wrong" age; it's mostly a touchy subject.

My thoughts on this were brought up on Friday when I was visiting my boyfriend's mom and little siblings. His 8-year old sister is very eager for us to be married. As we sat on the couch waiting to go to the orchestra (free tickets! it was awesomee!!), she told me that the last time she had seen Trevor she had asked him if he was goingto propose. Excitedly, she told me he said maybe and I should pick out a ring.

Imagine her devastation when I told her i wasnt ready to get married. Her face fell - I think she interpreted it that I don't want to marry Trevor, which isn't the case at all (it's definitely a potential distant future event). So how do you explain to an 8-year old that 20 is too young for me to be married?

See, to her, I am an adult and therefore must have everything that mommy and daddy have - the money to be married, and in a child's mind it's the natural progression of things - when you're an adult you get married. I don't have the money to get married - I can't even afford to live on my own. She also doesn't understand that I am barely learning to care for myself and make myself happy without depending on another person. Besides, what's the hurry?

I mean, I understand why girls used to marry at 12 and 13 in the Renaissance, and such - for protection, etc. But we also live a lot longer than 40 years now. We have no rush. Hell, some people don't even marry till 40! Nevertheless, I think I want to be married in my mid-to-late twenties. I want to experience life first!

Yesterday, amongst the gossip wheel, I heard that one of my girls is getting married. I was excited! She's been dating her best friend for about three years and they are so cute together. IF they really think they're ready for it...I'm going to suppor them. But then I learned that they broke up in June...and she's engaged to someone six years her senior whom she's dated for only two months.

I'm sorry but this just seems absurd to me...like it's a movie. How can you marry someone you've only known for a few months? How can you marry them and expect to stay together always without knowing their pet peeves or how they handle situations? What if he never showers? Worse, what if he is abusive?

This leads me to another friend of mine who learned about marrying too young. Her relationship ended in divorce - but with no physical or emotional duress, thank bog. After a year of dating someone 4 years her senior, she married him...the day after her 16th birthday. Lo and beold, adulthood comes around, she leaves for college and BAM! things are over. So now she's 20...and divorced.

What I'm trying to say is...I don't think it's a good idea to marry as a teen or even in your early 20s. There's so much more to experience!! Where's the rush!?



P.S. I have seen some marriages that started at age 18 that have worked out - so maybe it's just based on the people?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Not a WQ Post...but something to be concerned with

My aunt has a blog geared toward moms and their children and I was reading it today and came across an amazing blog post about PETA. Basically, PETA's most recent campaign is targetting children and actually sent my aunt an "UNhappy Meal" which my three year old cousin opened and was ultimately traumatized. Check out her blog post!

Have a great Tuesday!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Hate is Easy, Love Takes Courage

So, I haven't really been talking about relationships recently because, to me, being a warrior queen isn't just about relationships. It's within every aspect of your life. But there are certain moments when being a warrior queen does revolve around relationships, and on occasion I have an epiphany. Which I like to share, so here it goes. =]

Relationships are about timing. Love is forever. Love can withstand anything because that is an emotion not something that is truly affected by other people. Regardless of how badly someone hurts you, you probably will still love them in some way, care for them in some way. Relationships, however, rely entirely upon two people and their emotions.

At some point in life, with every person and every relationship, the timing is going to be off. People are going to get annoyed with other people. Other outside influences are going to affect the relationship. But that does not mean that that relationship is irreparably damaged. It just means that it might not be the right times in each person's life to be together.

It's true in romantic, familial and friend relationships. I hate burning bridges, but sometimes, you have to take a break from talking to someone, or from being as close to them for your own well-being. It's not selfish because the first thing you need to take care of is yourself. If that person is a true friend - a true relationship - they're going to understand and they're going to be there waiting for you. Or you can start it again.

This has happened to me too many times to count. ebb and flow. It's happened with some of my best friends and it's happened in relationships. Which is why, when someone tells me to be forever done with another person, I just can't listen. Do not judge me because of this, but understand that my heart and way of life is a lot more understanding and open than others are. True, it does allow for a lot more hurt, but there is also a lot of love.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Redefining

In talking with some friends recently, I've come to realize that the true definition behind the "Warrior Queen" is somehow getting lost in translation. Part of this, I think is because being a warrior queen really has a different meaning for every one of us. There is an absolute background definition, but I want everyone to build their own self-definition.

To me, the background definition is to do what you want, to follow your heart, to get what you deserve, and to be strong through every curve ball life atcha. I know a few friends who are in agreement on this matter, and a few others who to them, the definition is more strict or more loose.

The basis is Self Respect . I think any girl can have this, right?

I picked up a book at Barnes and Nobles today that I'd like to add to the list of Warrior Queen Books (which is as follows):

1. Why Men Love Bitches
2. The Rules (I haven't read this but Sasha based the original WQ ideal on this)
3. What Would Audrey Do?
4. How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World

This new book is kinda similar to book 3, but so far it preaches self-respect and class to us girls in a world where the "Stupid Girls" seem to be overtaking us with their tabloid drama.

But of course, we all have our fair share of "stupid girl" behavior. We've all made the mistake of being that overly desperate girl or wearing the too short skirt. Hell, we've all made the mistake of being a horrible warrior queen and hurting ourselves. But you know what? That's okay, as long as we learn from it!

So let's learn from it! Oh, and I would love to hear your definition of a Warrior Queen =]

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

CHOC Walk

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to invite you to donate to the Children's Hospital of Orange County. I'm doing the CHOC Walk this year with Michelle. I'm doing this walk for Gregory. He stayed at CHOC many times over the course of his illness and the staff was always very loving toward him and their patients. I want to be able to help ensure that every patient gets the type of attention and love that my sunshine received. I have a low goal - only $200 - but I would LOVE to surpass it!! Also, if you want to walk with us let us know!!

P.S. thanks mom for the 50 dollar sign up fee donation!!

Here's my link for my donations page:
http://www.chocwalk.net/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=314791&lis=0&kntae314791=B6A765C6E6B141
AD88E55B75869CCE6F

If you don't want to submit money online you can hand your payments to me personally!! Let me know if you have any questions!


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