Blogger Love Dare: Love is Impossible

*stumbles back in*

Oh hi, welcome back. That was a totally unintentional hiatus. Life got a little overwhelming, and I have the beginning stages of a cold. Boo!

Anyway, while I'm late to the game, today is my day to share my #BloggerLoveDare printable!

This dare has been really awesome for Iman and I. It has brought us closer - and is a great start to our marriage. We also have been working on Our Q&A a Day: 3-Year Journal for 2 People. We got it as a gift at my bridal shower and I absolutely love that we've been doing it for the past week!

If you want to learn more about the Blogger Love Dare, you can read about it here. If you want to purchase The Love Dare, I seriously recommend it. Iman and I are going to purchase it, so we can continue to challenge ourselves to love our deepest every day.

It's easy to get swept up into the daily life, and not make your relationship your priority. In my nontraditional sense, I believe that this book and challenge would be good for any serious relationship, not just a married couple. Perhaps do The Love Dare as an engaged couple, to strengthen your future marriage.

Love is Impossible. Today's really struck home with me, but I've spent all week trying to figure out the words to describe it. I just can't. So instead, I leave you with the printable.

Get the printable here. 

And I promise, I'll be back tomorrow :) 

p.s. This post contains affiliate links to my Amazon Affiliates program.

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Link Up The Love Tuesday

Hi guys! Today I am joining Miche in her brand new Link Up the Love Tuesday link up. You should definitely join us!

Basically, you just write some love about / to someone. It can be to random strangers or someone you know!

I'm going to address mine to someone specific, because I am ever so grateful to her.  Keep reading to find out who (and a link to her blog)

Being The Good + A Giveaway

I want to share a little secret with you. 

I love my blog, movement and Etsy shop that Paulina and I started more than most things. 

At my bridal shower, when they were quizzed on my favorite pastime they were all variations of blogging. I've had this little blog for so many years now - almost 5 - but it didn't really start growing until last year. 

Around this time last year I joined in Wifessional's Carabox Exchange and made some blog friends that are so dear to me. Since then, I've been going full steam ahead with my blog and Etsy. 

Let's be serious, for every person who comments "what a wonderful cause!" "I didn't know about this cause;" "Thank you for sharing;" "Wonderful movement, let me know what I can do to help!" and so on and so forth, tears spring to my eyes. [thank you!!!!!!!!] 

I want to do so much good in this world. That is my one life goal if you get to the roots of it. Do Good. Be Good. 

Do you have something like this in your soul? Where it literally screams out at you and consumes your thoughts and actions? 

Yes, I get mad and do selfish things sometimes, I am human. But whenever I have rational thought, it is pushing me to do good. 

Color Me a Warrior Queen is such a big part of this for me. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to start a clothing company with inspiring messages for girls and women. It always started as "the magazine" and grew into so much more. I want this to be a movement. I want you to feel moved to empower and be gracious. 

Partnering with Paulina was innocent at first. We liked each others blogs' and decided to sponsor each other. We ended up having a lot in common and haven't stopped talking since! 

Both of our blogs focus on being brave and overcoming obstacles, in different ways. Our shop is the epitome of the two of us - I like women strong quotes and she's more into fashion. Thus we have shirts and soon - stickers - and jewelry! It's the perfect combination but all of it stands with the message - we are strong women and we want to empower you! 

So what do you think? Have you checked out the shop? You can get 15% off with code FIRST15 on your first purchase.

________________

Before I go, here's another giveaway I'm taking part in!! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Always Wear Your Invisible Crown

Saturday was International Women's Day. I wanted today's post to be inspired by that greatness.

I don't know what it was that made me such a strong-willed girl power enthusiast. It could have been my hours of watching Power Puff Girls and Johnny Quest; it could have been from hanging out with my cousins; or it could have been from growing up in the 90s "Girl Power" era.

Personally, I think I was born this way.

From a small age, I was concerned with inequality. Why does he get to do that and I can't?  I did not realize that it was gender inequality until I was much older. I just didn't like being told what to do. "You can't do that" motivated me to do just that, and then some more. I'm still like this...I don't like to be bossed around. [Side note, check out the Ban Bossy campaign! I'm in love!]

Anything you can do, I can do better. This was my mantra as a kid.

Girl Scout camp was my favorite as a kid (I'm the blondie) 

In 5th grade we played this game called "Peg Ball." Basically, it was like kickball, only you tried to hit the other team members. The boys liked to play boys against girls. One day, the ball flew at me and hit me in the face, knocking off my glasses. I was livid.  

I picked up my glasses, put them on and marched over to Justin Whatshisface and said "Apologize. You're not supposed to aim for our heads." He wouldn't. Instead he decided to attempt to threaten me with his fist? He was waving it around like he'd never hit anyone before. I was a purple belt in karate.  

He was too scared of me to say anything, so his friend spoke up with the words "He'll hit you, he's hit his girlfriend." I glared at him and shot back "Do I look like his girlfriend? He should respect girls and women and apologize to me for hitting me in the face."  

Finally he did and rumors swirled around school that I was a bad ass. I was just standing up for myself...

Throughout my life, from whenever I first heard the word "feminist," I knew I was one.

Girls and women tend to shy away from the term - believing that it is synonymous to "feminazi," a term created by patriarchy because they're terrified of what us girls can do when we get together. Heaven forbid marriages are partnerships and tasks in life are split 50/50 or by who has a less strenuous work schedule, rather than be dependent on gender.

My favorite words to hear out of a man's mouth are "I'm a feminist." 

If you want a true definition of the word, check out this post. In short, "feminist" means you believe women should have rights. All of the other stuff, is what's tacked onto it by others and society.

Yes, I think that the glass ceiling is bullshit and believe that women should be offered the same rate of pay as a man based on skill not gender. 

When Iman and I first became serious and moved in with each other, I felt like a fraud as a feminist because I wanted to cook him dinner and I didn't mind cleaning up after him. I battled with my feelings of women's rights and that guilt led to quite a few fights that he probably isn't aware of.

This man doesn't take away my feminism. 

Because I am a feminist and I did these things for him out of love, I felt that I deserved to have things done for me out of love. That isn't true though. I deserve to be loved but I can take care of myself - as can any woman out there. I don't need Iman to clean up my mess or cook for me.

Girls, we don't need a man, even though it is the most wonderful thing to fall asleep next to the person that I love.

I know this post probably jumped all over about women's rights and feminism, but I hope it at least made some sense to you. I hope you realize how much self-worth you have without any other human being taking any of it.

Also, I've been on the hunt for a girl's group to work with or be a part of and would love any recommendations. I have been dreaming of being a Girl Scout leader for awhile, but I'm not sure if I have enough time. I'm in the LA/OC area, so if you know of any wonderful organizations looking for something more than monetary support, please comment below!



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Wedding Wednesday: Let's Talk Bridezillas

Today, we have some serious wedding business to address. It comes in the form of one word, and I literally get angry whenever I hear it. I'm sure other brides do, too. I'm sure that other brides also strive so hard to avoid hearing that one word. I'm sure that other brides' hearts also break a little bit when it ends up directed at them.

Did you guess what word it is? Bridezilla. 

This word is nasty. It's another form of girl cruelty - picked up by men and the media and perpetuating it.

I mean, who exactly can be defined as a bridezilla? Is it a girl who cares about how her special day plays out? Is it a girl who is struggling internally with something and stressed to the max so she says something mean?

Google says:

 bride·zil·labrīdˈzilə/noun

humorous

1.a woman whose behavior in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.

Urban Dictionary has quite a bit more to say here.

My first order of business is to address the point that she is "intolerably demanding" or "thinks everything is about her" or "throws tantrums," etc. I know that there are women out there who are demanding, snarky and all around mean girls. I would imagine that they continue to be this way during their wedding planning process. Their ways are most likely caused my some sort of inner turmoil, trauma or hurt that they've experienced in life and are not addressing. Nobody is perfect, but everyone deserves to be loved. 

With that being said, if that is the "bridezilla" you are referring to, then why are you still speaking to her? 

If you're a friend - confront her or stop being her friend.
If you're a family member - take a back seat and only arrive at the wedding. Confront her and ignore her incessant calls.

If you're in the wedding industry - don't take her on as a client or leave your job. 

I think these solutions are far simpler and more full of delicious karma than calling her a bridezilla (because she will just get even CRAZIER if you were to do that). 

My main concern with this word is that it is thrown around. A lot. As in, I've been called a bridezilla for something unrelated to my wedding...entirely. 

So if your "bridezilla" is obsessed with her planning, or is generally a nice person and becomes a "bridezilla" you need to do some attitude changing of your own. 

Being a bride is not easy. Planning your life with someone is never easy. Event planning is generally very difficult, especially while trying to coordinate 50+ people. The wedding industry is very demanding and overwhelming to brides. 

The first time I walked into a bride expo, I was moments away from a panic attack and crying. This coming from the girl who goes to a lot of expos and loves chaos. There were people waving things in my face, aromas that stung my nose and a lot of loud noises. That would give anyone a sensory overload. Add in the fact that you are trying to take your intangible relationship and make it something physical. 

People ask "what colors represent you two?" "What passages are you going to read?" "What songs are you going to dance to?" 

For the guests, they might not notice all of the intrinsic details. For the sentimental bride, it is about her relationship. 

The world would be far better if weddings were backyard bbqs. But no longer is that usually the case. 

If you find a bridezilla in your life, I suggest talking to her. She is going through a lot of stuff. 

For example, here's my life at the moment: 

I work 32 hours a week, but spend an additional 10 or so hours driving to and from work. I have a large family, with lots of birthdays, babies and celebrations. My grandfather is in the hospital. I have some emotional drama going on [I'm willing to share, but not publicly out of respect for others involved]. Every penny I can spare goes to my wedding. During all of this planning and wedding money spending, you cannot ignore your relationship, sit at home and do nothing. You have to spend money on dates and on friend time. You have to buy people gifts. We're also moving weeks after our wedding. We need to find a place for that. 

All of this just seems to skim the surface. 

On top of that, every person asks about your wedding. They're excited, you're excited. It's hard to not talk about your wedding. It stresses me out to talk about it. It stresses me out to think that my friends might think that is all I talk about. 

I would love it if instead of calling me a bridezilla or asking about the wedding, that person thinking I am a bridezilla would look me in the eyes and say "Hey! How's the rest of your life going? Is anything stressing you out? Do you need help with day to day tasks? Want me to come sit on your bed and chat while we do chores?"

I have an amazing fiance, amazing friends and amazing family members. They are supportive of me and I could not ask for more from these people. I love you.  

For those people who feel the need to call me bridezilla...WATCH OUT. :)

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The Rules of Heartbreak Round 2

Goood afternoon (morning?) my lovely readers! Having an extra day off of work always leaves me feeling more behind on my day back so I thought I would recycle a guest post today!

This one is from one of my amazing closest friends, and frankly, I couldn't have put it better myself. She's been a Warrior Queen through and through since our high school days. (She's an amazing writer too). Last night we were discussing this blog she wrote and she wanted to add some more / take some out as a more mature person.

By Nura A.

Kate Hudson just about sums it up in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days:

“I love you, but I don’t have to like you right now.”

In fact, you hate him right now. You hate the way you love him unconditionally, the way you let him hurt you, the tiny little things he does that makes you love him more- even when you can’t stand to look at his face. Oh, and that too- you hate his face. You know, the one you’ve kissed all over and look at absentmindedly so full of love and adoration. That one.

You also hate the way you can’t get any sleep; can’t eat (ok, maybe we all kind of like this one…); have a constant headache, stomach ache, heart ache; the way you spent the entire sleepless night bawling like a child; the way the lack of sleep and crying have made your eyes both puffy and dark; the way you can’t breathe; the way you can’t get the hurt out of your head.

And of course, you hate the way you look like complete shit. You can’t be bothered to do your hair, or make-up, or anything to reduce that stupid puffiness. Or even pick a coordinating outfit.

So here we go, ladies. Rules for heartbreak. Whether you’ve broken up, or should be breaking up with him for the way he’s treated you (if he’s treating you bad enough that you’re heart breaks- RUN! You are worth more than that, but we’ll get to that later), here’s the set of rules that any Warrior Queen should follow. If only just to stay sane.



[1] EMBRACE YOUR BEAUTY.

It’s hard to care unless you have the thought in the back of your mind of getting him back. Take that thought- and stomp on it. Just grind it into the ground. You should never accentuate your beauty for the sake of a man, always for yourself. Hell, even with those puffy eyes and messy hair, you’re still gorgeous. But because you don’t feel like it, take extra care to be your beautiful self. He can’t make you look like shit. It’s not his right. Besides, there’s nothing worse than finally being distracted from thinking about it and having someone ask you what’s wrong because you’re not looking, well, up to par.

[2] BUDDY SYSTEM

All those moments when you want to text, call, or email him and shout at him for hurting you, or beg him to take you back, or whatever thought it was that possessed you to want to communicate with him- CALL A FRIEND. Pick a friend, the second that you are hurt, that you are going to call. They don’t even need to pick up. Let them know what’s going on, and most likely they’ll be happy to be there for you (otherwise you need some new friends). Just leave a voicemail saying “Hey, I wanted to call him again…” And then tell them why. Tell them what you wanted to shout or cry to him about. That boy, the immature one that hurt you so bad, needs to feel what it’s like to not have you around or here your voice. We’re not saying give them the silent treatment, just refrain, warrior queen style, from giving them you.

It’s hard, and that’s why we have the buddy system.

[3] BE HONEST

You need to be honest with yourself and him. [Things are never black and white in a relationship, so maybe you're on a break and it's mature...this rule applies to you - Raewyn] When he calls, feel free to pick up. But also feel free to tell him how upset and hurt you are - in a logical, reasonable way. If you can't do that, don't pick up yet.  

 [4] BE PREPARED

Be prepared to break it off. If he isn’t ready to compromise or prove to you his love, then you shouldn’t wait around for it. You need to tell him that you can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t willing or ready to work at it. Here is the ultimate warrior queen moment: you have to be strong enough to do what is best for you.

[5] GIRLS

Plus, when it’s all said and done, you have your girls to fall back on. We are always here for you, and we will always be. Heartbreak is a part of life, and we have all experienced it (or will). We empathize, but will help you reason. So TALK TO US!

Do you have anything to add? Anything you would do differently? We'd love to hear it, especially because we're trying to fine tune this list!!



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50 Reasons to Live [Guest Post]

Good morning! 

I really like having these posts go up in the morning, I feel like I had such a productive day. Today, I want to introduce you to Cassi. Well, you should know her because she hosts 5 Little Grins with me every Monday! Cassie is an amazingly strong human being who follows her passions...that's right she's a Warrior Queen!! She's here to share one of her life stories, and to give us all a list of 50 reasons to live...a list that we all need some days. 

Hey!  I'm Cassi!  I blog over at The World From the View of Two Teenage Girls, with my cousin Katie. We blog about our lives, our goals, and we review some stuff too.  Raewyn is kind enough to let me take over her blog for today. :)

December 21st, 2013 I started self harming.  It's not something I'm proud of.  It's not something I've overcome.  I'm working very hard to get past it, but it is extremely hard.  I''d always heard of it being addicting, but I thought they were crazy.  I mean, how can you get addicted to cutting your body open?  But you can and I did.  To anyone who is in that place or anywhere they need it, here are 50 reasons you shouldn't end your life today, or ever.

1. You're needed
2. Sleep
3. Food
4. Books you can't put down
5. Snow days
   
   
   
6. When your favorite song comes on the radio
7. Bucket lists to complete
8. 7 billion people you haven't met
9. Beautiful places to see
   
   
   
   
   
10. Rules to break
11. Long hugs
12. Really good movies
13. Hot showers
14. Getting letters in the mail
    
15. The smell of rain
16. Sunsets
    
17. New shoes
18. Hot tea
19. New episodes of your favorite show
20. Being awake when everyone else is still asleep
21. Fireworks
    
22. Hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows
23. Singing to songs you don't know the words to
24. Kitties!
25. Waking up and still remembering a really amazing dream
26. Seeing your favorite band live
27. We still might get another Harry Potter book
28. Getting to eat your favorite food
29. Campfires
30. Candles that smell nice
    
31. Getting to wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt
32. Conversations at 2 am
33. Traveling the world
34. The sound of crunching leaves
35. Cute children
36. Watermelon
37. Getting to go to your best friend's wedding
38. Hitting snooze just one more time
39. Your favorite artist/ band releasing a new album
40. Going to the pool on a hot day
    
41. Laughing so hard you cry
42. Memorizing that verse of a rap song and owning the next time the song come on the radio
43. The butterfly project
44. Putting on clothes that just came out of the dryer
45. Giving presents to people you care about
    
46. Finding out about a talent you didn't know you had
47. The cold side of your pillow
48. Cake
    
    
    
    
    
49. I love you and so do so many other people
50. Knowing that other people have made it through this and you can too

-Cassi

Don't forget to go check out Cassie's blog!! I'd like to add that if anyone EVER needs to talk, I am here. Send me an email and I will give you my phone number and we can talk whenever. I love you and I would love to get to know you and love you even more. The flaws you think you have are wonderful. The scars you have are beautiful. You are beautiful. 



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Wedding Wednesday: A Flashback

Good morning!!

I am super excited to do a Wedding Wednesday post because it's been almost two weeks since my last one!! WHAT! I'm also writing a guest post over on Army Ever After tomorrow that is wedding related, and another one yesterday on DIY Bride that is wedding related...so we're getting a little wedding crazy!

Which makes me happy. First of all, our Save the Dates were all received and I met with my maid of honor to map out all of the rest of the important dates. Next I'm working on the wedsite and some small stuff, like going to see the venue with Liz on the 17th!

Today I wanted to give you guys a little flashback..into the very fist time Iman and I did anything romantic...I made the first move.

Feb 3, 2007

I'm not big on dancing and in high school I rarely went to any school dances. Actually, I went to Homecoming my freshman year and Winter Formal my senior year. That's it, no prom for me!

I knew I wanted to go to one dance my senior year and when they announced the theme for Winter Formal, my best friend and I melted. We HAD to  go. The problem [or maybe it was a good thing] with Winter Formal is that it is Sadie Hawkins at our high school! Hello, nerves!

I didn't like anyone, really. Well, that's a lie. I liked Iman. I always liked Iman. He was in the middle of one of his mixed signal times. As in his Myspace said he had a girlfriend and some crazy chick was all over it, but he was taking me to the movies and holding my hand...But I digress.

I was determined to ask him, hopeful that something would come out of it. Since I never knew when I was going to see the kid though I sent him some vague text message, or maybe the text message made sense and he was just being a butthead in reply. [Side note, I don't think I was allowed to text...but I did anyway].

My dress is from Aardvark's on Melrose. My mom bought it in the 80s, it's from the 50s!!

I think I asked him all cutesy. He replied with "Miss Smith, are you asking me to Winter Formal?" Duh.

So then I had to find THE dress. I don't think I had ever been as excited about something like this. I'm a tom boy. I let everyone else do most of the planning. Soon it was the day...February 3, 2007. Iman, of course, tried to play it like he had no idea what was going on that day when I called him.

"Are you almost here?"
"Almost where?"
"My house, for Winter Formal?"
"AH! I thought it was next week!"

Little shit was outside my house the whole time!!

My best friends!! [note my worried face because I couldn't find Iman...]

 So we took pictures, which I remember was awkward because we weren't a couple but we always acted like a couple and all of these parents kept asking us how long we'd been dating.

Just look at that smile! Who wouldn't love it?

Then we went to dinner and that was fun...

He hates this picture because he was being weird...

Then it was time to dance! Which I did a lot of, on account that Iman LOVES to dance. I couldn't help it, he was so cute. He'd be all modern dancing one second and swishing my skirt the next.

He ws so sweet too, my vintage 1950s dress broke in the middle of the dance and he pulled a safety pin out of his pocket and fixed it...

After the dance :)

Then after the dance, as I was saying goodbye to him at his car...I remember I was sitting in his trunk talking to him. Everyone else had already gone inside. I wanted him to kiss me SO bad.

As I began to fall into the trunk [Literally saying the words "I'm fall-"] he kissed me.

Fireworks. There were fireworks. 

I didn't know what else to do so I finished my sentence. Then that amazing man kissed me one more time, got in his car and left me there to gush to my friends....




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Bloggers Give Back Sponsor Search

Hey Warrior Queens!

I am just bursting at the seams with excitement about all of the love and giving back I've found in my corner of the blogging community. I hope you're loving it as well :) 

After all, this is one of my biggest identifiers as a warrior queen - the ability to share my love and be the best of me. A few weeks ago [or maybe it was a month ago] I won the Bloggers Give Back Giveaway and, in typical Raewyn fashion, I asked how I could participate in the next one. Not only can I participate, but you can too! 

Lesley @ By The Porchlight was kind enough to share her post reaching out for sponsors with me. Below you can find all of the information to also sponsor this giveaway! 

Remember the first round of Bloggers Give Back when Raewyn, from the blog Warrior Queen, won a $120 donation to to the charity of her choice? She chose the wonderful cause "To Write Love On Her Arms" and was so enthusiastic about the giveaway that now she is going to help me co-host the second round! Very happy to have her.

Now, in case you don't remember Round 1, let me tell you about this very unique giveaway! The entries work just like any other paid giveaway BUT this time all of the money raised will be donated to the charity of the winner's choice!

Would you like to get in on the action? Here are the giveaway entry options - and remember, it's all for a charity!

1 Bloglovin' or GFC entry = $5

+ Facebook AND Twitter entries = add another $5

+ Pinterest = add another $5
+ Instagram = add another $5

Interested in ALL options? That's a total of $20.00, all for a good cause of the winner's choice!

The giveaway will take start on November 3rd.

If you choose to sponsor this giveaway, please send me all your links, an unedited photo of yourself and tell me what your charity of choice would be! Money should be sent via PayPal to lesleyaraymond@gmail.com.

This is going to be a great round of Bloggers Give Back! I hope you'll join in!

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CHOC Walk 2013

I know we all aren't excited it's Monday. But let's make it a great week!! And here's one way of starting off your week great...

Let me tell you about this wonderful walk that I'm doing next month!! I do it every year that I can. Last year I had to miss it because my job was solely on the weekends, so I couldn't ask for days off.

In Orange County there is an amazing children's hospital. I really cannot say how happy I am that we have such an amazing children's hospital in our vicinity. It is called the Children's Hosiptal of Orange County or CHOC.

Every year they do a fundraiser walk at Disneyland in the super duper early hours of a Sunday. You walk throughout both Disneyland and California Adventure and along the way there are all of these facts about CHOC. And there are all of these survivor stories and I spend the whole time crying and smiling because of all of the amazingness.

I know you're probably wondering why it is a hospital that is so close to my heart. I mentioned recently that my cousin had cancer as a child and passed away. He did die cancer-free though! That boy was my shining light and the sunshine in my life. After finding out he had cancer at the age of 2, he was announced cancer free (on television!). He had a couple of bone marrow transplants and other surgeries. He had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He even survived a couple of bouts of graft vs. host. He was a fighter.

All of his cancer treatment was done at CHOC. His at-home nurses came from CHOC. His family stayed at the Ronald McDonald house several times to be closer to him while he was in the hospital. I don't think I could ever express my gratitude to the nurses and doctors at CHOC. They were amazing.

Every year that we walk, we do it in honor of Gregory and all of the other children that CHOC has helped. We've tried to start a Team Sunshine, but never have the time to dedicate to running a team. This year I decided to join the Anaheim Ducks Diehards team.

The Ducks were Gregory's favorite hockey team. Occasionally, the Ducks players will visit the patients at CHOC and they happened to fall in love with Gregory - who happened to be wearing his mom's King's jersey that day. After that, Gregory got to go to a couple of games and sit on the ice. Players came to his house and he was on the news a couple of more times.

I love watching these videos and hearing him laugh. :)

My foot tattoo is an ambigram, it says Sunshine one way and Gregory the other

I painted this, and then got it tattooed on me :)

If you would like to donate, here is my profile!

Happy Monday!



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