Friday, June 27, 2014

Society's Stigmas on Young Pregnancy

While I was at home wallowing in the pain of my bug bitten eye, I vegged out and watched a lot of television. I ended up watching The Pregnancy Pact and The Pregnancy Project. Have you heard of either of those?

They both came out a few years ago and the first is based on a group of teenagers who get pregnant together and the second is about a senior student who fakes a pregnancy for her senior project.

Both are very interesting and both got me thinking about stigmas. I don't know when Iman and I will get pregnant, but I am confident that we would be able to take care of our child and provide a wonderful life now that we've reached this life stage. I never will have that stigma, but it is one that everyone should have a discussion about. 


photo credit: Esparta via photopin cc




I remember having a conversation with my cousin - who is having her first baby this August - back in 2011 about pregnancy. Neither of us were in a relationship, but I was at the point in my life where I would have been completely okay if I were to get pregnant. I think it had to do in part because one of my close friends was pregnant, but I also think that I had just reached a mature level for myself.

I truly believe that that maturity level is different for every person. One of my closest friends had her first child at 18 and wouldn't change a thing. I know many other young mothers feel the same. I also know some mothers who wish they had waited for things to be easier. (It should go without saying, that they love their children.)

These two television shows have got me thinking about the way society looks at young pregnancies. On one hand, our discussion channels are more open than they used to be. These two movies never could have been made years ago, but they are okay now. The things people say to young moms anger me, however. I really am a hater of judgment.



On the other hand, we have television shows like 16 and Pregnant that have actually glamorized teen pregnancy. I don't think they were truly trying to glamorize it - but it has happened.

We need to open up a field for discussion to prevent pregnancy. Health programs in the United States need to change to include preventative members. Abstinence only leaves our teens and children to the unknown.

I could go on forever about this, but it might turn into more of a series. Before I go on, I want to hear more from you! What are your thoughts on health class and teen pregnancy?

__________________________________________________________

I'd love to introduce you to Kylea, one of my sponsors this month! I absolutely adore her (we think so similar-ly) and have been loving all of her recent confessions on her blog.

Kylea & Company
Blog // Bloglovin' // Twitter // Facebook // Instagram // Pinterest // Google+


What is your favorite summer drink?
Well I can give you three, because one must stay hydrated. We have the oh so important Iced Tea, it is pretty much a mandatory drink in my life, and I cannot go at least two days without it. But when I am hanging out by the pool or with friends I love to sip on either a Malibu and Pineapple or a Classic Margarita on the rocks. All three are so very tasty. 

If you had extra cash to blow this summer, what would you spend it on? 
Well a lot of my summer is taken up by work and I really can't take any time off, so saying that I would spend my extra cash on a wicked vacation is  a little hard.  I guess if I had the extra money to spend it would be on things that are local that take my mind off of work. I would go out and hang out with friends more, maybe take a photography class, and shopping. I would definitely do some retail therapy. 

What is your favorite way to give back to your community? 
My favorite way to give back is by giving time. People can give money, donate things, and do the amazing random acts of kindness. But there are so many places that need people to volunteer time. It can be hard to find time sometime, but putting forth even an hour to help leaves me feeling blessed and like I am making a difference. Even if it is only a small difference. 

 photo name.jpg

Check out one of our featured Warrior Queens:

61 comments:

  1. I completely agree with you on this. I actually was having similar thoughts as I was at the lady doctor yesterday and sat next to a pregnant teen. It is also important to remember that we are all on our own journeys and we all have different paths and lessons to learn in this life. Just because ours is different, doesn't make it better or worse.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was never a fan of 16 and Pregnant, but I did love that it at least should some of the very real parts of having a child so young. So many girls in my high school got pregnant during their four years, and all we were taught on the subject was about STDs...nothing on how to prevent pregnancy though!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are all definitely on our own journeys. I've never been a fan of teen pregnancy shows and I graduated with three young pregnant girls. Our high school taught us about STDs and various forms of contraceptives. Good news is teen pregnancy is supposedly on the decline (http://www.cdc.gov/TeenPregnancy/AboutTeenPreg.htm)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love that last part! It is SO true that we need to remember that!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Agreed! STD's are horrible and need to not be spread (obviously) but pregnancy was like the elephant in the room! Not okay!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was just discussing with friends how it is supposedly on the decline and that is wonderful! It's also great that your school taught you about contraceptives. Mine did not (but I was lucky enough to have parents that were not uncomfortable discussing it with me)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think Ive seen pregnancy pact. There is also a similar one on Netflix that is a french movie about 12 girls that get pregnant to prove a point or something. Maybe it is pregnancy pact...

    ReplyDelete
  8. I too believe that more should be done to prevent pregnancies. I also agree that the way some people talk to these girls is absolutely disgusting. At the end of the day, these girls made a mistake, and they don't need someone constantly beating them down. The best we, as a society, can do is to find ways to help uplift these girls and help them to teach others to not go down the same path.

    ReplyDelete
  9. One thing that drives me crazy about young pregnancies is that when we find out so&so is having a kid and EVERYONE knows that this person isn't ready, the first words they say are, "Well maybe that'll give her a chance to mature/grow up." I HATE when people say this. Just because these girls are immature doesn't mean that the only way to grow up would be to have a baby... these are living creatures... I think schools need to educate their students (both girls AND boys!) instead of just teaching them about abstinence, teach them other things as well as in..how to use protection.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I watched the Pregnancy Pact during my senior year of high school, I think. Honestly, it angered me, not because they got pregnant, but because they all planned to get pregnant together and thought that was the best thing life had to offer at their age. I think the main character angered me more because she lied to her boyfriend about the pact to get pregnant with her friends, and I honestly didn't feel sorry for her when he broke up with her. He would've stayed with her and raised the child with her had they gotten pregnant organically (?) and not because of some pact her friends made.


    That aside, I'm thankful to have learned about contraceptives and such and that my high school had free resources for these kinds of things. Better safe than sorry. But what saddened me is that recently someone very dear to me got pregnant and she was still in high school, but because of the stigma and parents and college, she aborted the child at 10 weeks. She told me after it happened, but the person was almost aborted as a baby herself (her parents didn't plan to have her), so it was just very sad to hear about. There is just so many different aspects about teen pregnancy that I could talk about forever.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Krista KetterhagenJune 27, 2014 at 1:16 PM

    I have seen both movies and I kept thinking "kids are supposed to be kids not worrying about having babies." I don't know what the statistics on teen pregnancy are today, but as a teenager I was informed by my parents more than the public school system. We have a huge broken window when it comes to teens and sex. We cannot continue preaching abstinence as the only way, we need an actual education for kids. I had a friend in high school who didn't know what condoms were or why stores sold them, that is scary!

    ReplyDelete
  12. hmm, this one is not French but maybe they did their own rendition. I will have to check it out!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I couldn't agree more! Don't even get me started on the people I know who protest at abortion clinics. I think that wherever you stand on abortion, you should care more about uplifting and empowering that woman so that she doesn't feel like she needs to have an abortion.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You know, I've never thought of the way that people say that. We say that about dad's, too. I definitely agree that is a phrase that should be stopped. Would you like to write a guest post on it? I WOULD SERIOUSLY LOVE IT. Also, totally agree on schools, it is so important to educate EVERYONE.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The movie angered me, too! I am glad your school taught about contraceptives and even had free resources. I'm sorry about your friend :( I hope that as a society we could be more accepting of unwanted pregnancies so that there is a dialogue for that type of situation!

    When you think about it, this "unwanted" pregnancy business only began recently. Women used to NEED to be pregnant by a certain age and wanted all of their children, and children were never planned prior to the 20th century.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I agree with you completely! Statistics are actually down, but I think we have a long way to go. I can't believe your friend did not know what they were! It is so important to know

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'll have to check those two out. I love stuff like that, because it gets people thinking and talking about important subjects people usually don't want to talk about.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know what to say about this. I have friends who had babies in high school. They were finishing up being moms when I was just getting started. They are having fun and starting careers and education now. I did that before when they were raising kids. Is either better or worse? Nope. That being said, if you get pregnant when you are young, life is going to be HARDER! Financially, it is just a real burden. You also sort of stop growing up for a while when you have kids because your own identity almost ceases to be for a while because you are now a mom and that is ALL life is about. If you can't make that kind of commitment at any age you could not have kids. But I have seen great young moms and crappy old moms- age is not everything. I think it is easier after you have gotten to know yourself, worked out your issues, and have more money, but young moms have more energy and typically more fun than older ones. There are pros and cons on both sides!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Exactly! I love when people have important conversations like this

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I can see both pros and cons as well!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. songbirdsandbuttonsJune 27, 2014 at 6:56 PM

    I am going to have to check these out - I love watching stuff like this!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Christen said it all perfectly, so 'what she said'!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Financially and emotionally it has to be harder when you have babies at a young age. I don't want to judge anyone else but I know for me, I would definitely not have been able to cope well with having a child in my younger days. I'm 30 now and I'm still not ready. People need to understand that children are a life changing responsibility no matter what the age of the parent is.
    StarrJoy16.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pregnancy Pact is HORRIBLE! I could literally write a book on this subject. Bottom line, there is a reason teenagers and teenagers. They shouldn't be parents because they are still kids themselves. I know many teen parents (even related to some) and I can honestly say that they all struggle a lot. Also, in every case I know personally, the grandparents are basically if not completely raising the child for them.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Pregnancy is hard, and that's the plain truth. Teen pregnancy just seems to maximize the issues. But, I think with a great support group, it's possible to raise a child in a loving environment. I think it's an important topic to discuss as long as we don't glamorize it. I would support any friend of mine if she was a young mother, but I don't think it's something to rush into. Like you said, everyone reaches their own different levels of maturity. Having a baby young means that person has to grow up really quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I know a lot of teenagers right now that think that being a teen mom would be a lot of fun. It makes me wonder how much they know about being a mom and if they know that having a baby means more than snuggling and everyone visiting you.

    ReplyDelete
  27. That is exactly what I think!! Lately, I have been thinking a lot lately about how we should have classes at high schools that offer real life experience, such as this. Just as they have ROP classes, we could have one all day class watching kids (with a teacher present) or a baby doll that is more similar to a real child. or a trip to what Jury duty would be like. I understand that the "egg" is supposed to do that, but really, how many of us actually learned anything besides not to drop the egg.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I agree completely! I think that we need to both caution against it and support young mothers, instead of chastizing them. Chastizing them cannot change the past, but just make mom and baby more miserable and less likely to succeed in life

    ReplyDelete
  29. I agree, and by saying that, I don't think you're judging!

    ReplyDelete
  30. hahhah I love when that happens!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Exactly!! It is much better to talk about it and educate teenagers so that don't get a disease or get pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
  32. They had them on tv reruns last weekend when I was sick, but you might be able to find them on Netflix!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I have nothing against teen pregnancy but like amber has said those teens who get pregnant because they think its fun then when the baby comes they dont look after there child only like partying and nothing else is what gets to me.

    ReplyDelete
  34. My sister got pregnant at 15. It wasn't easy for her but it also took its toll on the rest of our family as well. I agree with you too... It is pretty sad how television shows like 16 and pregnant have glamorized teen pregnancy. Teenagers pick up a lot from television ...and even Youtube nowadays (even if they don't admit it). Networks don't care about the effects of such things... all they care about is ratings. So sad.


    Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I've never heard of either of those shows, but I will definitely be checking them out!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I hate those MTV pregnancy shows - filters the wrong image on this stuff. I'm so glad the girls I do know who had a child as a teenager are doing alright, but it is a very tough road.

    ReplyDelete
  37. My sister got pregnant at 18...it was a rough road for her, but she managed to get her life on track. I had my first baby at 34...i can't imagine what it would be like to have a teenager at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  38. i've never seen 16 and pregnant.. but i do have a couple teen moms.. who now have teens! on one hand i think it's so nice that they are done with that part of their lives and can go travel again. haha i know i'm definitely nowhere near mature enough to take care of children. it really frightens me especially if they end up being anything like i used to be as a child! but when i think of teen moms who choose to continue raising their kids.. i actually have a lot of respect for them. it's so hard to put everything in your life on the backburner and choose to raise a child instead. it accelerates your maturity for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  39. It is so sad that we aren't doing more about media literacy so that teens understand what they should take from certain videos! How is your sister doing with her baby now?

    ReplyDelete
  40. Awesome! I'd love to hear what you think

    ReplyDelete
  41. I do, too! I'm glad that they're doing alright!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I am glad that your sister managed to get her life back on track. It would be interesting to have a blog post highlighting the two different paths you took and your lives!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I agree that I think that it took a lot of bravery for them to raise their children and do the best job they can. I could not imagine having a child that is 9 or 10 now.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I love sweet tea in the summer!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I came from a huge school back in high school and we had about 8 pregnant girls in my graduating class. I thought it was weird, but I didn't pass too much judgement, because frankly I didn't care much. For some reason now though, I have an acquaintance who I've always thought of as immature (constantly cheated on all of her boyfriends and couldn't do dishes, stuff like that) who just got pregnant and I was a little shocked, but maybe she's changed since then and grown up a little more. I just know that I'm in no state to want to have a kid yet, but then again I'm 23 and trying to find a job!

    P.S I nominated you for a Very inspiring Blogger award, you don't have to do it, but I wanted to let you know how awesome you are! :) http://bookwormsindresses.blogspot.com/2014/06/inspiring-blogger.html

    ReplyDelete
  46. I love lifetime movies and haven't seen this one yet. However I think it is a little insane with how they glamorize being 16 and pregnant. You are still so young then and really are not ready. They should really be helping them not get pregnant.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Ooh I'll have to check both of those out!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I cant say that I havent judged girls my age and younger for getting pregnant. When I was a senior there were a handfull of girls that became pregnant, and then the numbers grew each grade below us. It shocked me. I had talked to my parents about it and I couldnt believe that was becoming the norm. It realyl is all about maturity. Now, as I see on facebook, some of the mothers who I graduated with, I am happy for them. They took a tough situation and grew from it. I see so many of them making choices to better the lives of themsekves nad those they brought into this world.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I've seen 16 and pregnant before and I'm always amazed by how grown up some of the new parent are. I know I wouldn't have been able to cope like the more sensible ones on the show.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I agree- we need to open the forum, there needs to be a clear message to young girls that there are ways to prevent pregnancy. All this abstinence only crap is bull. Only 22 states require sex education, and only 19 require that any sex education provided be factually or technically accurate. How is that even possible??? I always thought that scene in Mean Girls was funny and ridiculous, when the coach is like "if you have sex, you will get pregnant and die... if you have sex, you will get chlamydia and die..." but in the majority of our country that can actually HAPPEN!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Omgosh, I didn't know that in some states they don't have to be factually or technically accurate. WTF.

    ReplyDelete
  52. It is amazing how grown up some of them are. It is a difficult time and I think that with true support more teen parents could grow up and make mature decisions for their children.

    ReplyDelete
  53. It makes me happy to see that they are doing well by their children. I definitely had my fair share of "gossip" about young moms when I was in high school, but I can't say I was really judging them, just spreading words like "omgosh I can't believe so and so is pregnant." I think our initial reaction is to judge because of society's stigma, but with recognition of that judgment we can change the way we and future generations think.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ah! Thank you so much!! I think we all have different priorities and some people are too immature to realize some consequences. That is why we should have a better education system in place

    ReplyDelete
  55. hmm, I think you commented on the wrong blog :)

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...