Wedding Wednesday: The Bachelorette Party

I have been anxiously anticipating this post all week and now that it's time I find myself utterly unprepared! Also, I am apparently really into alliteration!

Where do I even begin? [Maybe with an apology for all of the cell phone pix. The real camera pix have not yet been sent to me, but I'm too excited to share]

Two girls had to leave early for work, but this is the gang of us + our go cart driver

When I got engaged, I told all of my bridesmaids that I wanted the bachelorette and the bridal shower to be a surprise. I'm really into surprises and no one had ever thrown me a surprise party before. I did pick the location of my bachelorette party [San Diego] and which weekend it would be. From there, the rest was up to my maid of honor and bridesmaids.

They did such a great job!!

Instead of a couple of hotel rooms to house 9 of us, they found a house with enough bedrooms through AirBnB. I was the only person who had used the site before, so they were all a little weary before we arrived.

Surprisingly, we made great time on Friday and got there around dinner time! [Woo hoo no traffic!] The house had 4 bedrooms with room to sleep 11 comfortably; 2 bathrooms; a kitchen; living room; dining room and spacuzzi.

It was awesome!

Cards against Humanity! 

Obligatory "Bachelorette" cup and penis straw while drunk picture 

Spa stuff / typical girls' night! 

The first night we did a spa night. There were only about six of us staying the first night. We didn't actually get to the masks and facials because we got too drunk. So basically we painted our nails and eventually ended up in a luke warm spacuzzi. [I have pictures, but they will not be shared because my new bathing suit was too small].

The next morning we woke up and ate breakfast before heading to Coronado Island. It is just beautiful! I'd only ever been one other time because I am scared of the bridge to get there, but I will definitely go back!

All of us by the Hotel Del Coronado sign. This picture is really blurry :( But I know they took one with a real camera, too. 

This was a fun picture :) 

I am so happy that the rain from the prior week was gone! 

Full Bachelorette regalia at the really fancy hotel

Lunch time!

:) 

Yum! Gelato :) 

Lauren, my best friend from pre-school

Emily, my best friend and neighbor since i was 12

My maid of honor and best friend, Molly! [if you can't tell, she and Emily are twins]

Katy, my partner in crime 

All of us in the bright gelato shop! The ladies working were so sweet! 

We walked around, ate, enjoyed the beach...and then went back to get ready to go out!

Around this time some strippers "showed up" aka a couple of my friends invited them because they didn't realize I didn't want strippers. I took one look at the guys outside the door and said "I'm out" and barricaded myself in my room until they left. The girls said they were handsy and had only ordered one stripper anyway.

I love this bag! It's hot pink though, not orange. 

I think male strippers are creepy...or at least the idea of them coming into my home. I could go see Thunder Down Under ANY DAY!

After we got ready, we took an Uber [If you use code V39H6 you will get a $20 credit for your first ride!!]   to Downtown San Diego to go out!

Krystal, my newest best friend. She is Iman's best man's wife and we spend so much time together! 

We ended up eating at Bootlegger. It seemed really awesome at first but then our service started to suck. As in, she forgot to ring in my food! MY FOOD. Which was the easiest because I ordered a hamburger and I filled out a sheet for her. I wasn't the only one to do this though, so I'm not sure how she misplaced mine.

Attempting to look like we enjoyed Bootleggers

The security guard was pretty cool. He wanted to take a picture with me? 

Also, they took forever to "rush" my food out to me. Drinks cost $10 for the size of an old fashioned. I.e. 1 shot of alcohol...so we left there and I was pretty sober.

We walked a bit and ended up at Altitude, a rooftop bar. I love rooftop bars. This one was smaller but I was stoked anyway!! We ended the night at Bang Bang! An Asian Fusion club that has a Ryan Gosling bathroom which I heard wasn't worth the wait in line.

The San Diego skyline! 

This guy gave us all a free ride because he gets paid by the advertising

Home again on Sunday morning, all hungover and awesome.

All I ate was Jack in the Box for all of my meals. Then I had a piece of cake for my future brother-in-law's 15th birthday and got a stomach ache. Another Jack in the Box taco fixed that. #hangoverproblems.

My bridal shower is this Saturday and I am so excited!

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Wedding Wednesday: Let's Talk Bridezillas

Today, we have some serious wedding business to address. It comes in the form of one word, and I literally get angry whenever I hear it. I'm sure other brides do, too. I'm sure that other brides also strive so hard to avoid hearing that one word. I'm sure that other brides' hearts also break a little bit when it ends up directed at them.

Did you guess what word it is? Bridezilla. 

This word is nasty. It's another form of girl cruelty - picked up by men and the media and perpetuating it.

I mean, who exactly can be defined as a bridezilla? Is it a girl who cares about how her special day plays out? Is it a girl who is struggling internally with something and stressed to the max so she says something mean?

Google says:

 bride·zil·labrīdˈzilə/noun

humorous

1.a woman whose behavior in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.

Urban Dictionary has quite a bit more to say here.

My first order of business is to address the point that she is "intolerably demanding" or "thinks everything is about her" or "throws tantrums," etc. I know that there are women out there who are demanding, snarky and all around mean girls. I would imagine that they continue to be this way during their wedding planning process. Their ways are most likely caused my some sort of inner turmoil, trauma or hurt that they've experienced in life and are not addressing. Nobody is perfect, but everyone deserves to be loved. 

With that being said, if that is the "bridezilla" you are referring to, then why are you still speaking to her? 

If you're a friend - confront her or stop being her friend.
If you're a family member - take a back seat and only arrive at the wedding. Confront her and ignore her incessant calls.

If you're in the wedding industry - don't take her on as a client or leave your job. 

I think these solutions are far simpler and more full of delicious karma than calling her a bridezilla (because she will just get even CRAZIER if you were to do that). 

My main concern with this word is that it is thrown around. A lot. As in, I've been called a bridezilla for something unrelated to my wedding...entirely. 

So if your "bridezilla" is obsessed with her planning, or is generally a nice person and becomes a "bridezilla" you need to do some attitude changing of your own. 

Being a bride is not easy. Planning your life with someone is never easy. Event planning is generally very difficult, especially while trying to coordinate 50+ people. The wedding industry is very demanding and overwhelming to brides. 

The first time I walked into a bride expo, I was moments away from a panic attack and crying. This coming from the girl who goes to a lot of expos and loves chaos. There were people waving things in my face, aromas that stung my nose and a lot of loud noises. That would give anyone a sensory overload. Add in the fact that you are trying to take your intangible relationship and make it something physical. 

People ask "what colors represent you two?" "What passages are you going to read?" "What songs are you going to dance to?" 

For the guests, they might not notice all of the intrinsic details. For the sentimental bride, it is about her relationship. 

The world would be far better if weddings were backyard bbqs. But no longer is that usually the case. 

If you find a bridezilla in your life, I suggest talking to her. She is going through a lot of stuff. 

For example, here's my life at the moment: 

I work 32 hours a week, but spend an additional 10 or so hours driving to and from work. I have a large family, with lots of birthdays, babies and celebrations. My grandfather is in the hospital. I have some emotional drama going on [I'm willing to share, but not publicly out of respect for others involved]. Every penny I can spare goes to my wedding. During all of this planning and wedding money spending, you cannot ignore your relationship, sit at home and do nothing. You have to spend money on dates and on friend time. You have to buy people gifts. We're also moving weeks after our wedding. We need to find a place for that. 

All of this just seems to skim the surface. 

On top of that, every person asks about your wedding. They're excited, you're excited. It's hard to not talk about your wedding. It stresses me out to talk about it. It stresses me out to think that my friends might think that is all I talk about. 

I would love it if instead of calling me a bridezilla or asking about the wedding, that person thinking I am a bridezilla would look me in the eyes and say "Hey! How's the rest of your life going? Is anything stressing you out? Do you need help with day to day tasks? Want me to come sit on your bed and chat while we do chores?"

I have an amazing fiance, amazing friends and amazing family members. They are supportive of me and I could not ask for more from these people. I love you.  

For those people who feel the need to call me bridezilla...WATCH OUT. :)

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Wedding Wednesday: Flower Power!

I know it's been my wedding obsession lately but I am absolutely in LOVE with what is going on in the flower department. I suppose it is because when I originally decided to get flowers they were very, very minimal. As in, I decided we should have bouquets and just that.

Of course, everyone thought I was absurd. I'm just not big on flowers! Mostly it's because I am very freaked out by fern plants, and they are always in with bouquets. I know it's weird but hear me out.

When I was 12, we moved into this house that happened to have two master bedroom and bathrooms. So, I had my own bathroom attached to my bedroom and it was the perfect place to put flowers that people bought me. So, I got some flowers for my birthday and I was excited to put them there and there they stayed - because I'm lazy and also I like to KEEP EVERYTHING. ALL OF THE THINGS. I'm working on this...

So, one day I was touching my things in the bathroom and they had this weird brown stuff on them and I thought there were bugs attacking my room and I would die. Eventually, my mom convinced me they were the spores from the ferns and I need to know WHY THOSE HAVE TO EXIST AND FALL ALL OVER.

It helps that I was probably learning about animal and plant sex organs in class at that time so I was scarred that there were plant sex cells all over my bathroom and I touched them.

So, anyway...back to the wedding...

Iman's cousin has saved me! She is the best, best lady ever! I love her and I am so happy to be getting to know her better. Thanks to her we have some exciting flower things going along. Which I will now show you. All pictures are from Pinterest.

Somehow these little glass balls will be filled with little daisies to decorate the arch. These are the ideas of his cousin, but the end result is still in her creative brain! 

Sunflowers at the end of the rows! 

I just love sunflower balls! We could totally use fake ones, too

of course I have shared these from Muffin Tin Mom before. We are putting a little twist on them, but I am just so excited for all of the cuteness! 

So basically, there is a mixture of daisies (red and yellow, big and small); sunflowers; yellow roses (reserved for Iman and I) and some various fillers like billyballs (omg, I love it) and small flowers that look like daisies!

This weekend also ended with most of the invites done and addressed (a few left to do), groomsmen and groom fitted and styles picked out, most everything left to buy for decorations/misc, and my MOH got her dress. The girls will have their dresses bought by the end of the month.

IT IS CRAZY THERE ARE LESS THAN THREE MONTHS LEFT!!!



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Help! Wedding Music Confusion

Ooh! It is the first Wedding Wednesday of 2014!! Woo hoo!!

I am not sure if you remember, but I set a list of smaller goals to accomplish in December...that list now looks like this:

- reach out to our officiant and nail it down
- set up a date to meet with my uncle re: music
- speak with Iman's cousin and set up a date for our meeting with the florist
- go to the bra store!
- make a list of all of the things we need to buy (including things for the DIY)
- go to the Social Security Administration and get a new card
- apply for passport
- when Iman gets his bonus, buy our honeymoon plane ticket!
- finish up wedsite
- look at wedding band designs while in Vegas [our jeweler is in Vegas]

So, I got about halfway done! Which isn't too bad. Plus some of this stuff is in the works, i.e. I tried to contact our officiant but he didn't call us back which means I might be on the hunt for a new officiant (which sucks because I was trying to do this cost-free!). I did not set up a date to meet with my uncle, but it will be in the next few weeks, he said. Today my goal was to have my music ideas nailed down...so that is what we are hashing out!!

And my mom bought these for us :) 

I love a good music post, so let's get to the fun and games!!

I looked up online what songs I should definitely plan for and this is my list:  [oh boy do I love lists today!]

Ceremony

• Prelude: 
• Processional: 
• Bride Entrance: The Light - Sara Bareilles

• Recessional: From This Moment - Shania Twain 
• Postlude:

Reception

• Wedding Party Entrance:
• Bride and Groom Entrance:
• First Dance: "Marry Me" - First Dance Mix - Train [Iman picked this!] 

• Mother/Son and Father/Daughter: We aren't doing this! 
• Money Dance:
• Anniversary Dance:
• Cake Cutting:
• Last Dance: 

Oh boy, I am so behind on this!!

I know we also want to include these songs, but I'm not sure where they fit best:

You're Still the One - Shania Twain
Still into You - Paramore
Memory - Sugarcult [our very, very first song]
Collide - Howie Day [our first slow dance song at Winter Formal]
Umbrella (Cinderella Remix) - Chris Brown [this song is sooo hard to find since they broke up, but Iman loves it]
Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Stereo Heart - Gym Class Hero


But here is another list of songs I love that I am hoping Iman wants to do some.

How Sweet it Is - James Taylor
Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
You Are the Best Thing - Ray LaMontagne

And the rest I can't remember!!

What songs are you playing in your wedding? Do you have any advice for me?

Wedding Wednesday: 199 days to go!

Today, you can find me over at JustJacq blogging about the Warrior Queen name! 

Wow! Yesterday was 200 days left until the wedding. When I saw that on the countdown I sighed.

But I definitely think it was a good sigh. Last week, I might have sounded a little crazy in my post. It was a freak out, afterall.

Today, I'm so super happy to let you all know that I found a new wedding venue!

We decided to try out the Fullerton Elks Lodge because they had our wedding date available. On Sunday we had a 3 p.m. appointment, but ended up coming later in the day thanks to Buffalo Wild Wings, football, and me agreeing to do a fireball shot. Bad idea. I hate shots. 

I wasn't exactly completely sober when we went to the venue, but I already knew it was pretty. Mostly, I was concerned with the # of people, our ability to have the ceremony, food, dancing, and price. Luckily, all of those aligned! [Can you tell I'm a fairly simple bride?]

Then yesterday I got the fantastic news that we will be able to get our deposit back if I can find a couple to take our old venue. Anyone know a couple wanting to marry in April 2014 in Southern California? 

Our original venue is beautiful!

They have a $10k minimum, which is considered affordable in Orange County. The plates were in the $30 range. 

Our new venue is nowhere near as fancy, and it has a couple of quirky feels to it (like roll up garage doors) but I like quirky and those doors could go perfect with our vintagy theme. Chances are no one will notice. We're just happy to find a place for all of our people at a very affordable price!!

How is your venue hunt going? Anyone else change their venue with 6 months until the wedding?

As always, linking up for Wedding Wednesday! 

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