Sunday, July 5, 2009

Breaking Up

Breakups suck. Plain and simple; those two words sum it up. It's not something that can happen and then you're done with it - it's not something that has the same results every time - different emotions are going to flare up and there's no set way to deal with a breakup. It's pretty ridiculous.

The one thing that I would say helps the most? Knowing that I'm not alone in the world - unfortunately people are breaking up everyday...and also, people are falling in love everyday (even if it's the second or third or twentieth time). I don't believe we exist to be alone in this world - an unhappy existence just does not make sense to me.

Breakups are a two way street - whether you're the dumper or the dumped, there are still emotions involved. The thing I like to try to remember though is - "It's called a Break Up because it's broken." (the book is by the same author of he's just not that into you - Greg Behrendt) That book was my bible last year when my high school bf broke up with me. Obviously things aren't working out for one or both of you - so it really is best for things to be over. It's tough though to pick the right time - you don't want to drag it out, but you want to be sure. It's tough business.

When i'm the dumped...which it seems I have been lately, i like to stick to my 6 step plan on feeling better about myself (being dumped is one of the worst self-confidence killers).

1. Cry. When it happens, just let it go and cryyyyy. Let it all out for as long as it takes in that one day / night
2. Pamper yourself. Seriously, after a good cry, pampering is the first thing I want to do. I go and get mani/pedis, facials, massages, retail therapy...etc!!
3. Go to your favorite place. But be careful it's not yours and your ex's favorite place...that will just stir up old memories. Me? I like to hit up the beach!!
4. Go out with friends!! In my experience, distractions = the biggest help in not moping in a relationship. Your friends are there for you when times get rough - and distractions are one of their greatest things!!
5. Don't despair. There seriously will be someone out there for you - at least to take your mind off of what's going on with that ex (even if you know you guys are meant to be, that your ex is the only one for you...don't shut yourself off...give it a try.)
6. Go with the flow. Don't fight these things - if the person says things are changing, things are changing for them. Like I said, if things are meant to be - they will be. I'm a firm believer in that one. =]

One last thing, "Awesome thought: Alone also means available for someone outstanding." - Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, co author of "It's called a BREAKUP because it's BROKEN"

1 comment:

  1. Love that quote! You deserve the world so do not stop looking until you find someone who is willing to give it to you!


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