Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Today, I got my bitch back. And by bitch, i mean the Sherry Argov version of a bitch, not the "girl cruelty" version of the bitch. Argov is the amazing author of "Why Men Love Bitches" and "Why Men Marry Bitches." I consider her first book the original warrior queen bible. Here's an excerpt from the introduction:

"The bitch I'm talking about is not the 'bitch on wheels' or the mean spirited character that Joan Collins played on Dynasty. Nor is it the classic 'office bitch' who is hated by everyone at work.
"The woman I'm describing is kind, yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn't give up her life and she won't chase a man. She won't let a man think he has a 100% 'hold' on her. And she'll stand up for herself when he steps over the line.
"She knows what she wants but she won't compromise herself to get it. But she is feminine, like a 'Steel Magnolia' -- flowery on the outside and steel on the inside. She uses this very femininity to her own advantage. It isn't that she takes undue advantage of men, because she plays fair. She has one thing the nice girl doesn't: a presence of mind because she isn't swept away by a romantic fantasy. This presence of mind allows her to wield her power when it is necessary.
"In addition, she has the ability to remain cool under pressure. Whereas a woman who is 'too nice' gives and gives until she is depleted, the woman with presence of mind knows when to pull back...
"The bitch is an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches women how to be self abnegating. This woman doesn't live someone else's standards, only her own.
"This is the woman who plays by her own rules, who has a feeling of confidence, freedom, and empowerment."

When the warrior queen concept was first created by my friend Sasha, it focused around the types of ideals that Argov puts in her book. Of course, slowly being a warrior queen spread into ALL aspects of our lives, instead of just in how we dealt with boys.

So of course, me getting my bitch back doesn't just have to do with a guy, it has to do with school, my job, my friends, my family, and my stress level in general. For some reason, when I woke up this morning - I realized it - I had gotten my bitch back. I had barely noticed she was missing, but she's been missing for a couple of years now. So watch out world, the girl I used to be, is on her way back in. And I won't take any more shit. [[and neither should you]]

Part of this came from the realization my sister said to me yesterday. She sent me an excerpt from her journal that she gave me permission to include in my blog. It was a wake up call for both of us; and, together, we're getting our bitch back.

"We have to live our lives to the fullest and take every opportunity thrown our way. We have to surround ourselves with the people who make us happy, and not waste time dwelling on things we cant change, or things we shouldn’t be worrying about in the first place. Thinking about all of this has been a breath of fresh air. I decided a long time ago that I cant change my destiny, I can only make decisions along the way that reflect how I want my life to carry out. I am a strong believer that everything in life happens for a reason, the good and the bad. Everything that’s happened, everyone I’ve met, everyone who has even made the slightest impact in my life, everything is a separate intricate puzzle piece and I am finding out where they are all placed in the puzzle of my life. Some pieces are harder to place than others, but when the puzzle is finished and my life is coming to and end, it will have been the greatest adventure."
I hope I've given you all a lot to think about today!! Have a great one!

"Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov copyright Adams Media; 6 edition (October 1, 2002)
journal entry - Tiffany Martin


  1. I am so glad that you got your bitch back. I totally know what you mean!

    It sounds like your friend will enjoy Zen and The Art of Happiness. It is a great book and it completely goes along with what she says. Except in this book, not only does everything happen for a reason, but everything that happens "is the best thing that could have ever happened to you". Even the stuff that seems bad at the time. Ever since I read it, I have another completely different mentality. It is wonderful when you live your life knowing that no matter what happens, everything will be fine and everything is good. And when I feel times are bad, I try extra hard to remember this and look for the good, guess what? It is always there!

  2. I wanna read it too!! That's how i always try to feel!!


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