Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Rules of Heartbreak Round 2

Goood afternoon (morning?) my lovely readers! Having an extra day off of work always leaves me feeling more behind on my day back so I thought I would recycle a guest post today!

This one is from one of my amazing closest friends, and frankly, I couldn't have put it better myself. She's been a Warrior Queen through and through since our high school days. (She's an amazing writer too). Last night we were discussing this blog she wrote and she wanted to add some more / take some out as a more mature person.

By Nura A.

Kate Hudson just about sums it up in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days:

“I love you, but I don’t have to like you right now.”

In fact, you hate him right now. You hate the way you love him unconditionally, the way you let him hurt you, the tiny little things he does that makes you love him more- even when you can’t stand to look at his face. Oh, and that too- you hate his face. You know, the one you’ve kissed all over and look at absentmindedly so full of love and adoration. That one.

You also hate the way you can’t get any sleep; can’t eat (ok, maybe we all kind of like this one…); have a constant headache, stomach ache, heart ache; the way you spent the entire sleepless night bawling like a child; the way the lack of sleep and crying have made your eyes both puffy and dark; the way you can’t breathe; the way you can’t get the hurt out of your head.

And of course, you hate the way you look like complete shit. You can’t be bothered to do your hair, or make-up, or anything to reduce that stupid puffiness. Or even pick a coordinating outfit.

So here we go, ladies. Rules for heartbreak. Whether you’ve broken up, or should be breaking up with him for the way he’s treated you (if he’s treating you bad enough that you’re heart breaks- RUN! You are worth more than that, but we’ll get to that later), here’s the set of rules that any Warrior Queen should follow. If only just to stay sane.


It’s hard to care unless you have the thought in the back of your mind of getting him back. Take that thought- and stomp on it. Just grind it into the ground. You should never accentuate your beauty for the sake of a man, always for yourself. Hell, even with those puffy eyes and messy hair, you’re still gorgeous. But because you don’t feel like it, take extra care to be your beautiful self. He can’t make you look like shit. It’s not his right. Besides, there’s nothing worse than finally being distracted from thinking about it and having someone ask you what’s wrong because you’re not looking, well, up to par.


All those moments when you want to text, call, or email him and shout at him for hurting you, or beg him to take you back, or whatever thought it was that possessed you to want to communicate with him- CALL A FRIEND. Pick a friend, the second that you are hurt, that you are going to call. They don’t even need to pick up. Let them know what’s going on, and most likely they’ll be happy to be there for you (otherwise you need some new friends). Just leave a voicemail saying “Hey, I wanted to call him again…” And then tell them why. Tell them what you wanted to shout or cry to him about. That boy, the immature one that hurt you so bad, needs to feel what it’s like to not have you around or here your voice. We’re not saying give them the silent treatment, just refrain, warrior queen style, from giving them you.

It’s hard, and that’s why we have the buddy system.

You need to be honest with yourself and him. [Things are never black and white in a relationship, so maybe you're on a break and it's mature...this rule applies to you - Raewyn] When he calls, feel free to pick up. But also feel free to tell him how upset and hurt you are - in a logical, reasonable way. If you can't do that, don't pick up yet.  

Be prepared to break it off. If he isn’t ready to compromise or prove to you his love, then you shouldn’t wait around for it. You need to tell him that you can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t willing or ready to work at it. Here is the ultimate warrior queen moment: you have to be strong enough to do what is best for you.


Plus, when it’s all said and done, you have your girls to fall back on. We are always here for you, and we will always be. Heartbreak is a part of life, and we have all experienced it (or will). We empathize, but will help you reason. So TALK TO US!

Do you have anything to add? Anything you would do differently? We'd love to hear it, especially because we're trying to fine tune this list!!

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  1. I love this post-it's so true! I love the one called "Be Prepared". You shouldn't wait for someone who won't wait for you or treat you right.


  2. I totally needed this post today! Right now my husband and I are taking some time apart (his decision) and I am having a hard time dealing. This helped... <3


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