After we had exhausted Ikea (and it's delicious, cheap, and weird Swedish food), we decided to go to Barnes and Nobles for a good book search. The result? Us reading books in B&N for a good 3 hours. I even finished reading my book! Which is what i wanted to talk about, this book.
"I Don't Want To Be Crazy" by Samantha Schutz
The basis of this memoir is her struggle with the realization of and living with her anxiety disorder (she had panic disorder, which is one of my anxiety disorders). This book really made me feel less like a crazy person because of my feelings of my freshman and sophomore years of college (She discovered her disorder in college.) Here are a few excerpts!
I just need to put a little space
between me and the panic.
I need a little bit of calm
so I can get a grip
and hold on to something,
to pull myself up
and out. (pg 164)
I have no idea how many times I have thought that to myself, but it is well into the thousands ^^
I have only a general sense of the pain
of not being able to control my body
and my thoughts.
All i ever wanted
was to have control --
to be in charge of myself
and the rest of the world. (pg 203)
I suggest everyone read this book because
a) it has VERY awesome formatting
b) it's a quick read
c) it will help you understand anxiety disorders! (and some of what goes on in my head, in case you ever wondered.
I don't think that anyone should ever be ashamed of an anxiety disorder because it is based off of your chemical, biological, and psychological make-up. It would be really helpful if people understood this...I'm trying to research it as best I can to understand myself a little better, but please, put up with my "crazy."
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