Speak Up!

It's pretty rare for me to be a quiet observer at a party. Actually, it's very rare for me to be a quiet observer at almost anything. Mostly, because I am not a quiet person at all. But occasionally, when I'm tired or very introspective i will become the quiet observer (as opposed to the loud observer that I usually am...Captian Obvious).

Last night, I was at a pretty crazy party where I apparently was a hit. Mostly, because I'm crazy but that's not what this story is about. I was observing the people around me (obviously) and their interactions and, although I was not perfectly coherent, I came to a realization in regards to girls and guys communications in and out of an official, exclusive relationship.

One of my friends, was invited to this party by the boy that she liked and long story short there was a misunderstanding. She felt like he was ignoring her and so she got upset and, instead of telling him (because shouldn't guys just KNOW when we're upset with them?), she took the traditional girl approach to say "I'm fine." Honestly, my boyfriend knows those words are not a good sign at all. Also, i shrug. But back to the point at hand, of course it blew up into something bigger than was necessary because she was too afraid to say anything because she has no legitimate "claim" on him.

I have a legitimate "claim" on my boyfriend - we've been best friends for years, tell each other everything and have been dating for about a year give or take some craziness that we like to throw in to keep it interesting. Still, I get afraid to tell him things. Don't get me wrong, the fear isn't completely unjustifiable. Every girl knows that boys don't know how to handle emotions (their own, OR girls') and they hate it when we cry, which happens all the time anyway.

But this doesn't mean we should be afraid to talk to them. That fear leads to miscommunications and MORE emotions. It's like leaving the lid on the pot when the water starts to boil, pretty soon it's going to bubble over.

Also, I'm not sure if anyone's noticed, but guys are very blunt and straight-forward and don't like to beat around the bush. When a girl is straight-forward with the guy, they really admire her for "having the balls" to face this fear. Guys want girls they can have a conversation with, who hold their own and aren't AFRAID of them. (If a guy wants you afraid of him, he's not a good guy to be with and you should run away immediately because that is most likely abuse, for the record.)

So the next time something's bothering you, SPEAK UP. Don't do it emotionally, with all of the tears. Do it in a manner that is logical and clear. They'll appreciate it and you're relationship will probably be a lot stronger. =]

Take me as I am
as I was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me, baby
or leave me
--Rent