Monday, December 21, 2009

Passing Judgment

I suppose it has always been this way because of the shortcomings of humanity and our need to make mistakes and learn from them (although in this situation, I really feel no one learns this lesson). I, myself, am not immune to it, although I would like to be. I would like to be completely self-less, like Ghandi and Mother Theresa, but I am a human being, and I am sure they had their faults and shortcomings. I try to model myself after them; they are such amazing role models, like Audrey Hepburn.

Regardless, I feel that this is a large issue in today's society. I would say it is particularly prominent in Orange County, however the ickiest judgement I have ever received have always been elsewhere. Also, it's always the people that don't know you that pass the harshest judgement. I try so hard not to pass judgement on people, but especially on people I don't know. Obviously, there is going to be a first impression of someone. But so many times people surprise you. I give off the weirdest first impressions, and then people get to know me and they love me (or hate me, if they're jealous. All of the judgement I have ever received is based off of jealousy).

I suppose there are several different forms of judgement. You can judge me before you meet me, you can judge my actions, you can judge the things that come out of my mouth, you can judge my decisions, etc etc. The things I do, I do without worry that people will judge me, usually. If I want to do them -- if I want to make my own mistakes, let me. It's the only way I'll learn. It's the only way anyone will learn.

Besides, no one knows what goes on in my head. Have you tried to listen to me when I talk out my thought process. It comes out all backwards and no one understands it. But to me, it makes sense. That's the important part. It's my life. MINE. Not yours, not anyone else's. So I'm free to make my own mistakes. Feel free to worry about me; I worry about everyone constantly. I'm a worry-wart. BUT I always always always know that whatever decisions people make, it's what they want, or think they want at that time. You need to follow your heart.

And, to the people who don't know me and say things about me, don't think you know me because of what you've heard people say about me. Don't think you know me because you've read what I write online or on paper. Don't think you know me because you've looked through all of my pictures I have ever taken. I am a chameleon. I change, daily. I work forward. You could never really know me without actually trying to get to know me and talking to me in person. Which, it may sound crazy, but I will be ANYONE's friend. There are people that are jealous of me, that I cannot stand because of the way they affect my life; but when it comes down to it, if they were to call me in a moment of crisis -- I wouldn't think of my dislike of them. I would help them. There are exactly 2 people in this world that I would not help. I would probably call the cops on them, and I have not seen them since I was six.

So all of the stuff that you might be saying about me -- because I hear about it; my ears buzz -- only makes you look like a weaker person. Why do you CARE about me so much? You don't know me. Don't compare yourself to me. Find your own virtues. I am sure you have them. Everyone has them. Love yourself. Don't worry yourself with me.


  1. Most important thing you can do for your own well-being is to own up to your mistakes, improve yourself and move on.

    PS: They're jealous of your boobs. Hahahahahaha.

  2. Courtney - that is one of the topics!!! ahahahaha.

  3. I find that people who are unhappy with their life, themselves are usually the ones that judge most. There is an old saying, judge everyone, only take what you need from that judgment and throw away what you can't apply.


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