We're 20. But many of us know people who are getting married, having kids, and making huge life changing decisions. It's so weird! But anyway, here's Courtney's blog. =]
Did you ever have that original group of girls in junior high or high school that you spent all your time with? Boys were stupid so you had to stick together. Each had their personality. The soccer player; the church girl; the one who has to be the center of attention; the pretty one; the rich one; and the awkward nerdy two that stuck together more than the rest.
Yea, I was one of the awkward two. There wasn't really much of an option for me to escape it. Three years of braces, and hitting puberty -- later I was called the whore--though I'd done nothing to warrant being called "whore" except to have boobs that the others didn't. I can laugh about it now because at the time I'd been convinced I would be awkward, flat, and probably alone forever. But life, and puberty, said otherwise.
After time passed, we all went our separate ways. Some of us lost touch, others just didn't seem to care. There were bigger and better things ahead. Things that most of us didn't ever see coming until they happened. Break ups, fights, and relationships dashed on the rocks. It seemed that the only relationship that remained after all was said and done by the end of high school, was that my best friend and I – the other awkward nerdy one – were the only ones that had survived all the way through. The rich one moved up in the social order of high school (we didn't like that too much). When your friend walks past you with everyone else like you're invisible it hurts. The church girl went away to college far away where we still miss her a lot. The center of attention, well most of us had lost touch with her by the time college started. She's now getting married, which threw me off by how unexpected it was to hear. But I'm really happy she's found her man, he seems really nice.
This is such a strange period of life. From age 19-21, so much changes. Your friends go away or stay close for college. Work schedules clash and impact whether you ever get to see your friends. And after not seeing them for awhile things happen. Things? People get engaged, people make life decisions, people join the military. How do you react? The one getting engaged, upon first hearing that my old friend was getting married--I thought, "wow when we made our predictions she was so close to the bottom of our "who will get married first? list". I am a little jealous....being that I have my own romantic relationship going on. And this isn't like oh hey there we're dating, we've been together twice as long as the couple whose getting hitched this next year.
A little piece of me says it's not the right time and I know this very well but the other side says, "Why aren't I the first one? Why isn't this happening to me? Will it happen to me? How long do I have to wait?" I know I'm young, I'm poor, and have to wait. It'll be worth it when it does happen. No sense in hurrying, I'm only 20. Yet still, it's weird. I know I won't be attending the wedding being that we're no longer close friends, but I'll see the pictures afterward. They'll be smiling, and I can click the "like" button or leave a comment to say congratulations!
I'll just conclude my ramblings with this.
We all were so close before, years before, then life happened. Why are my relationships with other women always so difficult to keep up with? I guess that's why I shifted to being "one of the guys". It was easier, it was less drama. There was no more arguments over who liked who, or jealousy of what the other was wearing, no competition. But in the end, I look back and still see those original girls that I sat at lunch with my freshman year. All of us were so young, I looked like a 12 year old for crying out loud! Now, I'm just curious to see who will be next. Who will be the first one to have a baby? Generally the married ones are at the top of the list for babies, but you never know. Life sure likes to surprise you, doesn't it?
I think she should start one herself...let me know what you think <3