Friday, November 6, 2009

I know, I know

I knoow I've been MIA for a week. It was not intentional at all. I kept trying to write but I kept getting distracted. On Monday, I had surgery on my foot ((nothing major)) and I started to write a post about Halloween and skanky girls...but then the vicodin kicked in and I passed out. I was down for the count all day Tuesday and stuck in bed with plenty of free time...and no motivation since then! But here it goes! -- although I'll finish my halloween one up later...

I am convinced LOVE is the biggest challenge I'm ever going to encounter...getting a 4.0 GPA in honors classes is wayyy easier than trying to figure out the heart.

Mostly, this is because every person, every situation, and every relationship is going to vary so drastically. There is no little formula you can plug in. No boy + girl = happiness. It's much more complicated than this. There isn't even a "if you structure your essay in this manner you'll get at least a C" formula. No. It's all hit or miss, timing, personality, situation.

People always ask me for relationship advice. I try my best to understand the situation. I tell them what I would do in the situation. But to follow their heart. Following your heart is usually the best solution. But what do you do when you're heart is going in 20 directions at once?

To be honest, I usually break down and cry at this point. And then I ask everyone I talk to for advice, although they're probably fucking tired of hearing about my problems at this point. But they're kind, they listen. And if that's not's time for a field trip to Barnes and Nobles' Self-Help section. [[this section can instantly make me calm]].

Sometimes, even that is not enough. Mostly because I'm a victim of doing things over the natural limit. You know, overanalyzing, overthinking, overexciting, over everything. I generally like that about myself. Except when I'm laying in bed all by myself crying because I feel so lost...

Music usually saves my soul. I also know this post is very scattered like my brain and my emotions right now, we can't blame it on the vicodin...i stopped taking that on Tuesday when it made me go all crazy. Also, I know this post isn't going to solve my problems. Nothing is. Because as soon as you solve one problem another one's going to pop up.

I'm okay with that, usually. I like solving problems. But I hate being in limbo. I like to know what's going on and especially hate it when people push me away or block me out...

I think this is all I'm going to write because if I keep going I'm going to sound even more crazy than I did last night when I met the Asian kid who asked me for love advice. I forgot he doesn't know me, or the way I talk so I sounded like a complete crazy. Which I am. But good crazy.

Always try for good crazy...

1 comment:

  1. Good crazy is the best! I am totally insane!!!
    Love you- check em on fb


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