Thursday, December 19, 2013

Wednesday Night Epiphanies

Last night, as I had yet another night of insomnia I decided that I might need to get this checked out. I don't think it's normal to sleep as little as I do. I might be about to get super serious on you, but I know that somehow my anxiety disorder is involved and somehow I need to figure this ish out before I drive everyone around me insane.

I think that I am on the correct path. I think that I lost myself for a little bit. I'm not too sure how, but I think I'm still doing some adjusting and need to do some looking at myself. In this, my blog posts might change. Originally, this blog was very full of serious posts. Then things became lighter as I had less seriousness in my life - less worries to figure out. I think during that time I forgot to keep doing some self- evaluations and figure out ways I can treat myself better or be a better version of me.

It may sound silly, but I think that I actually got more self-absorbed by not thinking about myself - well, my true self. I don't like being self-absorbed, although I definitely think that a degree of selfishness is necessary in every person.



I have a lot of things planned for 2014 - a lot of fun blog things. Some serious, some not so serious. Hopefully they all continue my growth as a blogger and as a human being. I'm curious to know what you, my readers, want to see more of. Please fill out the form below to let me know!!

On that same note, I want to also divulge that, while I blog pretty regularly now, I may blog more sporadically in the new year. It is getting closer to my wedding and I might get burned out. I'm not sure, I've never planned anything so big as my life with another person. I am excited. I am scared. I am happy.

But I'm also not happy. I'm not sure if this is common or if I am the only weird one out there but at night, I get incredibly sad sometimes. Maybe I'm letting the stressors from the day finally hit me; maybe I'm not focusing on the feelings I need to focus on; maybe I just need more sleep but this is definitely something I need to fix.

So if you ask how I am and I tell you I'm happy, I am. I am incredibly happy and thankful for my life. I'm just trying to figure my head out.

While trying to get my brain to shut off last night I read a lot of my really old posts - I'm taking 2009 and 2010. I feel like I was going through a pretty big life transition back then.  Here are some examples:

Passing Judgement
Rumor Has It
Girl Cruelty and Jealousy
Big Changes, Big Problems
Be Love

Please let me know what you think about these posts and what direction my blog is heading in :)




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8 comments:

  1. I know when I look back at things in my life, I can see that the little things led to where I am now. and that without them, I probably won't be doing what i'm doing now! :) It's why I write in journals, I love to see where my life has been and dream about things for the future and then see how those plans change.

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  2. I tend to only have the discipline to write in a journal when I feel like I'm drowning. I miss it though, and I just wrote a journal entry for the first time in months. I love looking back and seeing how I've got to the point I'm at and other times I see how I used to respond to things and that I need to do that again, etc. Thanks for sharing! It's so helpful to not feel alone.

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  3. I used to write every day and this year I didn't write at all :P Terrible... It's my goal this year!

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  4. i love the universe emails that they send out daily. they make me smile just as about as much as Mr. Amazing does. :D

    http://pinkowl07.blogspot.com/2013/12/im-so-excited.html

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  5. I get like this sometimes. Can't sleep and your just up thinking. I sometimes look back on my journals to see how I felt on the exact date but like 1-2 years ago.

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  6. I wish I had the discipline to write in journals so I could do that!! I used to have an online blog that was more private that I did that with. Recently they shut it down though, so my blogs might be lost. Thank you for being a new follower! I'm heading over to your blog now :)

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  7. They can always turn my day around!

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