Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Why I don't Have Baby Fever [But my Fiance Does]

This is not going to be a blog post about how much I dislike babies and children or about how mommy bloggers drive my crazy. On the opposite! I absolutely love reading mommy blog posts and playing with my little niece and cousins.

Let's be honest, I want to be a mom more than anything. But not right now. 

Iman though, he wants me to be pregnant. He says, why not? And oh, how amazing this man is with kids. Whenever we go to one of my family gatherings, he spends almost the whole time with the kids. They love to push him in the pool, climb up him like he's a ladder and play football with him. He is absolutely in love with our flower girl - my cousin's daughter - because she is so kind-hearted and throws a football like a pro. I think she actually learned his name in less time than she learned mine. [To be fair, her name is Raylinn, and it is very difficult to distinguish our two names before you're five years old]. They call him Niman and they just cannot get enough, and neither can he.

I am equally in love with these little ones. I love to  babysit and play with them. I love to watch them grow and see their little minds learn something new. I love seeing the look of sheer joy on their faces. I don't mind the tears, the mess, the little baby screams. I love it.

In fact I have a lot of babies coming my way very soon. In October, one Ohio friend has her second little girl on her way. In December, a baby boy. In January, my second niece or first nephew...my best friend finds out the sex in 4 days! In February we have TWO babies due as well. I am so excited to kiss and cuddle all of these babies. We have a lot of youngins around already - a lot of my cousins are under the age of 8, and some of my friends have started having babies as well.

But, back to the point I was trying to make...I don't have baby fever.

Getting pregnant now would be so inconvenient. I am a planner and ideally I would like to not be living at my mom's house, with less than 9 months to our wedding with a baby in my belly. I would like Iman to be on the path to following his dream - because I do not want him to feel like he can't follow that dream.

I also don't truly believe that I am ready. I need to have a normal sleep schedule first, and take better care of myself.

But, of course, if I were to become pregnant, I would be as ready as I could be. I would get my act together, we would push back the wedding, etc. What's funny is the summer before Iman and I got together, was the time in my life when I came to terms with the fact that I could in fact raise a child. I was mature enough.

What are your thoughts about the "right time" to have a baby? Are you waiting? 

I'm thinking of making this a discussion -- I have a lot of responses from FB to share.

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  1. I don't think there is ever a right time to have a baby. I didn't think I wanted kids ever when I found out I was pregnant. Like you said though I was mature enough and financially stable enough to have a baby so I did. BEST DECISION EVER!

  2. I don't know if there is truly ever a perfect time but you are thinking wisely. And while it is easier to wait until you have been married for a while and our more financially stable in the end, after the first year is over all the 'we should have waited' goes out the window and is replaces by so much more love than you can ever have fathomed.

    With that said, if you aren't ready don't rush into it and nine months isn't that long to wait. You could always make it a wedding gift. =)

  3. No babies! We are having babies together, and MUCH later...
    Tell Iman I said no!

  4. I think you will know when it's the right time.

  5. I agree with you. With all those babies coming already in your life. I would want to have one when no one else is pregnant because then once the baby is here you will have to be taking it everywhere with you with all these events. And I'm only a babysitter and I know how hard it is to travel with a baby because parents don't ever want to do it so they hire me and go to their friends kids 1st birthday party because they just want to relax a bit. So I say wait until they all have their and then have yours so you don't have to worry about all that extra hassle and just be in the moment with your own.

  6. HI Raewyn (I love your name, btw). I came to your blog via Mal's Smiles (WCW), and you are my link up neighbour. I would love to have a baby more than anything, but we can't due to health reasons. I do love being an aunt, though.

  7. I know I want to be a mom but am in no rush to do so. It will happen when its time and there are so many avenues to take to become a mom beyond the good old-fashioned way. I might adopt, I might foster and I might get pregnant- but not right now! :)


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