Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Wedding Wednesday: Cutting the Guest List?

I think it's different for every bride, but for me, the hardest and peskiest part of wedding planning is the continuing battle between guest list and budget.


Think about it. On one side it's your family and on the other side it's your partner's family and then you add in as many of your friends as you can afford. Let's take just a quick second to break down the definition of family. I have a large family, but not everyone is related to me by blood.

I have many, many friends of my parents or friends of my aunts and uncles who are my family. They have simply always been another "aunt" or "uncle" or "cousin" to me. Also, through family drama, we have disowned part of my dad's family. This happened at a very young age - my brother doesn't even remember our real grandmother. Luckily, my dad's sister's husband's family [have I lost you yet?] stepped in to fill that void in our childhood.

Therefore, I have all of the cousins that are by blood and then I have all of the aunts and uncles that are once removed. That's the real definition of a cousin once removed, by the way. "Removed" means through marriage. Anyway, you also have to add onto that the fact that I'm Mexican. So I have a lot of "cousins" that are actually kids of my dad's cousins, etc. Anyone in mine or my brother's generation is a cousin. Anyone older is an aunt or uncle and then anyone under 2 has now just started calling me aunty because it's easier.

THEN you have Iman's family. Then we have our friends who we want there more than anything. But of course, those are going to be the people we cut first. So of course, I don't want to make cuts and neither does Iman.

He jokes that the whole guest list is my family. The truth is, they've become his family, too. Take my Aunt Nik for example. I'm pretty sure he'd go and hang out at her house without me if he was in the area and had nothing to do.

Here's a picture from a childhood birthday (mine or my brother's).

All of my childhood birthdays took place at a park because we'd always have at least 100 people. Once I became a teen, I'd have two parties - friends and family. In this picture, the only person related to me by blood is my little brother. Everyone else is a "cousin." I'm also pretty sure that Sadie is going to kill me for this picture. WELL that's what you get for putting bunny ears on me!

Anyway, this is the reason behind downgrading our wedding's fancy-o-meter. This way we can fit these people, that we love. This way we can all be together. Isn't that what it's all about? Isn't that why wedding parties began? To share the love and experience with the people who love you most?

What have you been up to in your wedding planning? 

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  1. A wedding certainly doesn't have to be "fancy" to be perfect. And isn't having family there the most important thing? We had a hard time narrowing down our guest list too (but we don't have NEARLY as much family as you do). It's I totally understand. I think having the people there will be much more meaningful than something you would consider "fancy" an ice sculpture or live band.

  2. I totally get you. When I get married, I think this is going to be the hardest thing to do. Like you I have a big family. And while I would like everyone I and my future-husband know to attend its just not going to happen, unless I marry someone rich.. hahah. Thank goodness that's far away for me!!

    But congrats to you and your husband-to-be!!! I wish you both the best!!!
    Adri's Thoughts

  3. Seriously I think the guest list is the hardest freaking part. You never know if it's a good idea to truly invite someone or if it isn't going to be good - will they cause drama? Will they be upset. ugh. But I like the chart. It has good points. Best of luck with the planning babes.

  4. Ugh, the guest list is the absolute WORST! I also have a huge family so the number of friends at our wedding isn't nearly as big as we'd like! I think, though, that we made the correct choices and no feelings will be hurt (we hope!)

  5. I am in the same boat!! I can only hope that no ones feelings are hurt. But we will be barhopping after so people can always join then.

  6. ooo the barhopping idea is a good call! Sounds fun!


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